Comments on: Wish I Hadn’t Witnessed

By: heidi

heidi — Thu, 21 Apr 2005 08:46:12 +0000

C’mon, Jenny. I was just havin’ fun while my mom was shoppin’ for underwears. Butts are funny! I wouldn’t kiss a real butt like that. You shoulda stayed.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 03:15:36 +0000

Yeah, it seems that all of my guy friends who heard this story thought it was pretty funny, as well. But my friend Dr. Greene got a bigger kick out of everyone’s comments, particularly those that mentioned “pee-pee’s” and “wee-wee’s.”

My single, childless status is beginning to make more and more sense…

By: Quackin' Mad Duck

Quackin' Mad Duck — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 01:58:17 +0000

Dave, that is SO cool!!! You would have been like my bestest friend EVER! I was one of those kids deprived of a “hidden” Playboy collection, so I always had to depend on kids like you for all my cheap elementary school thrills!
Actually, Jenny, I have to say I’d have laughed if I’d seen the girl kissing the bare plastic butt. That’s just too funny! (Please don’t hate me!)

By: Quackin' Mad Duck

Quackin' Mad Duck — Tue, 12 Apr 2005 01:58:17 +0000

By: Dave

Dave — Mon, 11 Apr 2005 21:51:55 +0000

How “proud” my Mom must have been when I was in third grade and she got a call from the school to say I was being sent home for the day because I brought some of my Dad’s PLAYBOY magazines to school and was sharing them with the class.
**note to parents out there – Those ten years worth of PLAYBOYs packed in boxes you think are safely buried in the basement are not as hidden as you THINK they are. haha

By: momisold

momisold — Mon, 11 Apr 2005 20:17:55 +0000

Actually, I’m glad we are having a discussion about this subject. I’ve been afraid to bring it up among my friends, and I was afraid I was raising a pervert. The last time we were visiting my mother, she said, “J* sure talks about bathroom things alot.” “Uh,” I said, “not really,” all the time worrying she thinks I am doing a lousy job raising him, and that we all talk that way at home. I’m going to bring up the Fred (the dog) incident if she brings it up again. He has NEVER done that….at least in my presence.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Mon, 11 Apr 2005 19:50:42 +0000

I guess another good thing about not having kids of my own is that I can have theoretical children. Because my theoretical children would never pants a mannequin and start making out with its bum.

Jill - keep your eyes peeled for a package in the mail. I'm sending Fred some patented space age underwear so he can roam freely w/o fear of being molested. Just keep him out of Victoria's Secret, where apparently normal societal laws don't apply. I'm going to assume he wears an Xtra Small?

By: AB

AB — Mon, 11 Apr 2005 19:50:08 +0000

Ok, that’s just disturbing. I was a nanny for 4 years watching 3 kids and I still think that’s disturbing.

The closest I’ve gotten is when we would go shopping and the youngest of the 3 would jump from around the corner, holding is crotch and screaming at the top of his lungs, “I’m holding my peepee!”

I swear, they save all the weird stuff for when you’re in public. Once they’re at home, they’re normal little children again.

By: jill

jill — Mon, 11 Apr 2005 18:18:51 +0000

When Fred (my 8 lb dog) and I were at my friend N.’s house this weekend, N.’s daughter A. (8) and her playmate M. (also 8) were there as well. And of course, they wanted to hold Fred, who obliged them by lying cradled like a baby in their arms.
“Ooh. . . look at his wee-wee!” one of them says.
“Touch it,” says the other and then, of course, when contestant No. 1 does, exclaimes with pointed accusation, “She TOUCHED it!”
To which the toucher responds, “She TOLD me to!”
To which I responded, “NO TOUCHING FRED’s WEE-WEE!” right before leaning over to snatch my dog away from the vile little child molesters.
Kids can be so gross.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 11 Apr 2005 16:00:29 +0000

Dear Jenny,
Children can be bumble bees and children can be monsters, see?
Love,
Vivian