Comments on: Sideways

By: asia

asia — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 18:44:59 +0000

They also have a weakness for silver tequila, and good scotch.
On the dirtier side, I recently went camping at a yellow-jacket infested campground and was informed by a neighbor camper that a tuna can with a bit of tuna juice and some soap will drown the little f*ckers. Just incase you need to know…
Slugs and beer…
You never know who will infest you next.

By: hooizz

hooizz — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 21:27:31 +0000

fantastic post – ill use anything as an excuse to open up a bottle… im gonna getchya sucka fruit flies! ha!
cheers
hooizz
dan’s comment was HILARIOUS!

By: TCho

TCho — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 19:02:19 +0000

I know what you feel when you were questioning how you live. Whenever my cleaning lady comes over, I clean before she comes because I don’t want her to think I’m some total slob!

By: jill

jill — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 15:38:23 +0000

“microwave popcorn flies, or frozen pizza flies, or cheese and crackers flies”
That’s awesome! I love the way your brain works, sister. In my house I might have canned olive flies or matzo and butter flies. Also, occasionally, frozen meatball flies.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 03:54:41 +0000

Now that I know how to effectively trap and kill fruit flies, I might even invite a few in just to see them die. Banana peels? Check. Apple cores? Check. Glass of Maker’s Mark? Check!

By: shari

shari — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 00:20:41 +0000

That’s hilarious — I can just see your wine-glass-festooned apartment!
However, living in the self-proclaimed “apple capital of the world” where fruit flies are ubiquitous and bold, I have valuable experience in the art of hunting/trapping drosophyllus melanogaster.
A proper trap will contain an aromatic cab or merlot, OR shards of ripe fruit, in a glass jar covered with a coffee filter that has a tiny hole poked in the center. Let the filter sink into a cone shape that descends at least halfway into the jar with the tiny hole dead center at the bottom of the cone. Secure it with a metal ring or rubber band. The flies will drop into the jar, but are too stupid to locate the exit.
And this concludes today’s lesson in killing less-extensively evolved organisms.

By: dan

dan — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 18:32:16 +0000

my friend, you are falling for a classic midwestern ploy. wine works fine, but not pinot. it’s tart herbaciousness is anathema to their insectoid sensibilities. I’d recommend a big buttery chardonnay, or even better, a sauterne or mead. Even port might do, if not overly redolent.
me, though, I just get a 12-pack and a pellet gun. I put on a dvd of Fear and Loathing and wait for the little suckas to come into range. And they *will* come, my pretty. they *will* come.
or you can blend the last post and this one, and heat a vat of hydrogenated lard on the stove, and they’ll just fall in. The added benefit here is that everyone loves fresh french flies.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 18:21:52 +0000

Dear Jenny,
On my walk home yesterday I passed a pile of furniture and clothes abandoned on the curb that had a sign on it that read, “Infested with bed bugs!” I’ve been itchy ever since.
It’s a buggy week.
Love,
Vivian

By: Jessica

Jessica — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 17:17:05 +0000

Hah! This is hysterical…”sucka fruit flies”, “crimson vortex” – hee/hee!

By: nicole

nicole — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 15:03:50 +0000

How bizzare. My house and theater have a major fruit fly problem, too. And I just thought it was because I haven’t taken out the trash in a few days…
Enjoyable entry, as always!