Comments on: What Not to Wear

By: jenny

jenny — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:48:27 +0000

churlita: boy, boy, crazy professionally dressed boy!

By: churlita

churlita — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 19:12:55 +0000

Maybe you could start singing, “The office casual dressers are gonna have their way tonight…”

By: jenny

jenny — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 19:13:43 +0000

dave2: that’s a great idea! and actually, i did see one woman on my flight whose bag was lost when they checked it at the gate. could’ve been me!

robin: i kind of feel like i look a bit like mary tyler moore in this outfit. so picture that…

claire: seriously? i feel like every pair of pants i buy has to be tailored these days. and i’m 5’7″, so it’s not like i’m exactly petite.

bonzo: ooh, yeah! maybe a nice halter top… or a tube top! that would definitely distract.

MOM: you kidding me? i don’t step foot out the door w/o mascara on! i’ve even crossed over into the lash-extender brands… which don’t seem to help much.

delmer: you must be a popular size – you’d think they would stock more of them!

shari: ooh – i hadn’t even considered the sash/bowtie option. but thanks – now i know what to wear at the follow-up meeting!

By: shari

shari — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 14:02:50 +0000

As a distraction technique, I just can’t recommend highly enough the use of the ’80s standard: red-sash-turned-bowtie. Coupled with appropriately whore-red lipstick and gold bangly earrings, the sash/bowtie is unparalleled in hypnotic mesmerizing of the masses. This is how such a hideous look went unchallenged for nearly an entire decade.

Oh, and if you ever find a place to purchase pants for women shorter than 5’10”, PLEASE let me in on the secret.

By: delmer

delmer — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 12:53:11 +0000

I have trouble buying long-sleeved dress shirts and part of the problem I have is that the Big & Tall store skips the size I need. Based on the trying-on I did — in which sleeves were too short (a Tall Large) or they hit me right but the shoulders were too big (a Tall XXL) — I decided a Tall XL might be just right (I’m pretty sure Baby Bear wears a Tall XL).

When I went to the counter the clerk told me they didn’t carry Tall XL and that I’d have to order it. That is a bad sales model in my opinion — men don’t plan ahead … at least those of use needing Tall XL shirts … at least me. I’d gone in to buy a shirt then because I needed a shirt then — not in two weeks.

How is it a Big & Tall store has any combination of Big or Tall or Big & Tall except what I need?

By: MOM

MOM — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 23:55:58 +0000

JEN SAID: What I ultimately settled on will be on the slacker end of the professional business attire, but I’ll wear my contact lenses and whore lipstick and earrings and a scarf to draw attention away from that fact

Oh, hallelujah…I can die happy. I don’t suppose you’d consider a little mascara?

From your make-up loving mom,
MAYBELLINE

By: bonzo

bonzo — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 21:51:23 +0000

you should definitely wear a top that shows off the new tramp-stamp that you got instead of paying for a more conservative outfit. nicely distracting. if the whore makeup isn’t enough, consider some hideous and loudly-clinking bracelets and such. or just practice your fran drescher impression – the louder you are, the less people “notice” you.

By: claire

claire — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 19:55:54 +0000

“…the Smithsonian wing of my closet that houses my more professional clothes…”

I have one too! Except I’ve never worked anywhere formal so it tends to be clothes my mom bought me that I keep around “just in case” but can’t fathom wearing, and the ones deemed “too nice” to wear regularly. Sigh.

I’m in the mood for new clothes, but $5000 doesn’t go that far if you have to throw everything you have out.

Men do have it easy. It’s like that episode of Bewitched where an old flame of Darrin’s invites them to a party and tells him it’s casual. He wears a jacket and Samantha wears a casual dress, but it turns out the party is very formal. Darrin looks fine and Sam looks totally underdressed.

Also, where do you shop that has the pants for 5’10″ers? I rarely find stuff that fits that’s long enough.

Best of luck to you! I like Dave2’s line.

By: Robin

Robin — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 19:51:00 +0000

What—no pics? We can only truly assess the outfit if we see photos.

By: Dave2

Dave2 — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 16:08:14 +0000

Here’s my go to excuse as to why I didn’t show up in a suit: “I apologize for my attire, but my suit bag must not have made it on the plane.” This is not really a lie, because I never took my suit bag for it to make the plane in the first place.

Not only do you get a pass, but you also garner a little sympathy for your “lost luggage.”

I’d stay away from the “alien abduction” excuses… they never seem to work for some reason.