On "Take Your Product of the 1% Condom Failure Rate to Work Day," we had a very fine young girl sit in on one of our animation meetings. In the 10 minutes she was there she had to stop our conversation to ask us who Ed Wood was, who Divine was, what "rampant homophobia" meant, and then have us explain why everyone giggled when discussing Bert and Ernie's "realtionship." Her father was not too pleased with us, particularly since we were discussing a product meant for pre-schoolers.

Oh, the dreaded "entertain your co-workers' children" day.

I always wondered why my father never took us to work on those days, but now I realize that there is no possible way to keep an 8 year old occupied on an army base when you work in metrology. Here honey, have a ruler and go measure some stuff for me.

So did your co-workers come back saying their girls now want curly red hair?

Y'know, the more I think about it, why don't companies allow for people like me who substitute pets for children? Why isn't there a "Take Your Cat To Work Day," huh, HR?!

I, for one, know that my cats, Stan and Ollie, would have enjoyed sitting in my tradeshow planning meetings every bit as much as those ten year olds did.

Ollie. Ollie! Let go of the Vice President's neck. That's a good boy. No! Do NOT pee on the whiteboard!