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« Weekly Opinion Poll: Underdog | Main | If/Then »
Stop it.
Stop judging me.
Just because I ended yet another evening with a few too many drinks and my pants mysteriously unbuttoning doesn’t give you the right to pass judgment on me.
I’m not ashamed, you know. I know it may seem like I am, because I don’t talk about it a lot, but I’m not. Really. I do this almost once a month, and I like it better every time. I never get tired of it. In fact, I did it again this past weekend. With my parents.
That’s right. We went to Olive Garden.
Yes, I am Italian. And you know what? It’s just like they show in those commercials – real Italians do eat at Olive Garden. And we like it. Sometimes we bring our Uncle Nino with us when he visits from Palermo. And he likes it, too, especially when we all link arms and belt out Volare while waiting for our heaping bowl of salad to arrive.
I just wish the rest of the world could be as open and loving as Olive Garden. If we could all just set aside our differences for one minute and try the new Garlic Shrimp Limoné with angel hair pasta, I think we’d all be better for it. It’s available for a limited time only.
Oh, hello Adam. I’m so pleased you’ll be our waiter this evening. Your warm smile and ready basket of breadsticks are exactly what I needed tonight. Why yes, that raspberry lemonade does sound quite refreshing on such a hot day, but I believe I would prefer a nice glass of your house red, instead.
See, Adam doesn’t give me a sideways glance when I ask for more salad. He doesn’t look at me with self-righteous indignation when I request another glass of red wine, even though I am only halfway done with my first one. Adam understands that I just like to be prepared, and that I respect his time as our waiter.
Well, let’s see. Do I go with the reliably delectable eggplant parmigiana for $10.95, or pull out my passport and choose the Tour of Italy for $14.95 – fettuccine Alfredo, homemade lasagna, and chicken parmigiana all on one plate? Can you even imagine such joy?! Just like Mama makes it!
Oh, my. If only I had saved room for the seasonal Berries and Zabaione, or the Italian classic, Tiramisu. But alas, I couldn’t leave a morsel of your scrumptious pasta with marinara sauce on my plate, so I am afraid I am too full. But perhaps next time?
And yes, there will most definitely be a next time. Because aside from making me feel like I can be myself, like I don’t have to prove anything to anyone, Olive Garden also knows how to keep me coming back. As soon as I’m done writing this, I’m going to hop on www.olivegarden.com to fill out my satisfaction survey – good for one $3 coupon for future use!
Now that’s how you treat a lady.
Posted by runjenrun at July 25, 2005 06:41 AM
If I were a lady, I'd so marry Olive Garden. As is, I'm thinking about asking it to move to Canada with me. This might confuse and slightly frighten my girlfriend, but I think once she, I, and a basket of those wonderful warm breadsticks sit down across, or on, the table to discuss the situation, she'll come around. I know we can make the relationship work out. For all three of us.
Posted by: Darby at July 24, 2005 09:53 PM
Love. Love. Love. Olive Garden. Love. The bread. Yum. Love. Speak it, sister. Preach it, sister. Olive Garden! Love.
Posted by: jill at July 25, 2005 11:30 AM
Ack...I've never been. No one told me it was really worth going. Why didn't I get the e-mail?
Posted by: Anonymous at July 25, 2005 09:34 PM
I be the anonymous one...sorry.
Posted by: Robert at July 25, 2005 09:35 PM
I like Olive Garden, but I LOVE Bucca de Beppos. Have you been there? I'm Italian too, and I could swear my great-grandmother decorated that place!
Posted by: Robin at July 26, 2005 07:55 AM
R: I love Bucca's! The only thing better than Italian food is family style Italian food. Just don't let anyone make my newbie mistake and order one dish all for themselves... I was eating leftovers for a week!
Posted by: Jenny at July 26, 2005 01:05 PM
Validation, finally! I worked at an OG for 3 years--where I met most of the friends I (still!) have here in Texas, inclding my husband. That's right--Olive Garden is a good place to fall in love, as well as a good place to eat. And I never did get tired of the food, even after three years.
Posted by: Karla at July 26, 2005 03:51 PM
Mmm. Warm, salty, garlic breadsticks.
Mmm. Bucca di Beppo's...the only time I've eaten there was the night before my sister's wedding. Let me just say that after maragrita pizza, spaghetti, salad, some kind of chicken and lemon dish, mashed potatoes, and cheesecake, I could barely fit in my dress the next day. The pictures were lovely...
Posted by: nicole at July 26, 2005 09:03 PM
I prefer to eat Italian at Alfredo alla Scrofa in Rome. But it's not very practical to dash over for dinner. A more realistic place for Italian is Salvi's Bistro in Columbus, Ohio... though I live in Washington State, so I have to leave pretty early in the morning to make the dinner hour.
So I guess I'd have to say I like Cucina Cucina best. A much nicer Fettucini Alfredo than Olive Garden.
Though, if I want seven Italian Margaritas and a basket of breadsticks, The Olive Garden is definitely the place. :-)
Posted by: Dave2 at August 5, 2005 10:23 PM
