A. I can't even type it, it sets my teeth on edge. *shudder*

C. I think because I associate it with company owners who don't ever show up to the office because they are golfing, sleeping, vacationing, or being a waste of time and space. They are famous for popping in when the office is crazy busy and wanting to hold useless meetings just to get "back in the loop". Either be in the loop or don't be in the loop--make a choice and stick with it. Blah.

C. If I hear "Keep me in the loop" one more time, I'm going to go postal!!

Definitely A. Most people who are hung up on "thinking outside the box" haven't had an original thought in their lives and couldn't even describe the freakin box. Bah...don't get me started.

the one that makes me giggle is when someone says, 'this is where the rubber meets the road.'

i also giggle when people say, 'flesh out/flush out'.

E, now that I think of it, gives me the heeby-jeebies. Yeeeeeekity! Get your fingers out of my skull!

My write-in candidate would have to be "real-time", as in, when Big Shot walks into Non Shot's office and proclaims, "We're going to have to edit this report in real time!" Oh, real time, you say? Well by Jove! I guess I better scrap my plans to edit the report in completely made-up fabricated fake time, then!

I hate, hate, HATE it when we're sitting in a meeting and someone takes the "action item" to "ping" someone else.

Translation=call someone who wasn't there right after the meeting to get some information.

Has anyone else but me heard this? "I'm going to be OUT OF POCKET for the next two days, so we'll need to meet on that this afternoon".
I take it to mean they are going to be unavailable but maybe I'm hearing it wrong. Is it "out of pocket two days"?

Other offenders:
"I know enough to be dangerous",
" I need you to put your _____ hat on"
and "To wordsmith" That one is the worst!

Hands down for me is, "vacay day". Is this one universal or just in my little world?

Ha, 'vacay day' kills me. Along with any abbreviated word. But I do have to say, choice A grates on my nerves. It doesn't help that it's Taco Bell's slogan...kind of.

I hate "the whole nine yards", and "ramp up". "If we can ramp up this project, we can get the installation contracts, the operations and maintenance contract, the whole nine yards."

im a consultant. we're known for our 'speak'.

LEVERAGE and DELTA have to be the ALL TIME wunderkids of business talk. ha!

i have a hardcopy of bullshit bingo floating around my apt. i cant find it on the web, but its DAMN funny. maybe youve seen it before.

cheers
hooizz

found it! its much funnier with the testimonials on the bottom.

http://www.perkigoth.com/home/kermit/stuff/bullshitbingo/

Testimonials from satisfied players:

*
"I had only been in the meeting for five minutes when I won." - Jack W. - Boston
*
"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." - David D. - Florida
*
"What a gas. Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." - Bill R - New York City
*
"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the 5th box." - Ben G. - Denver
*
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'Bullshit' for the third time in 2 hours." - Kathleen L. - Atlanta

Well, I work in the non-profit world, and that didn't sound too foreign, sadly.

My number one pet peeve is not a corporate speak, but a verbal tic that my boss has. After making every suggestion, he will ask, "does that make sense?" Hey, you're the BOSS. Do you honestly think anyone is going to say no?

I hate when I get emails at work addressed "Team:..." It sounds so corny to me. I also agree that "out of pocket" is extremely annoying.

Also someone here at work constantly says "or what have you." God I hate that phrase.

Wow! Do we all work for the same company? I didn't see you guys at the company picnic!

Okay, I just have to comment on a few more of the worst of the worst that you brought up:

"Flesh out/Flush out" - this one cracks me up because I don't think anyone ever really knows which it is (if there is a correct one).

"Action item" - I'm constantly getting those.

That bullshit bingo game was hilarious, mainly because it reminded me of my other most hated term, which is deliverables!

"Now, Team, I'd like your takeaway to be to come up with a list of deliverables for this tradeshow so we can ramp up in time for the event, does that make sense?"

AAGGHHHHHH!!!

Hey Nat! Someone else uses "out of pocket!" You're not alone!

I've never felt closer to all of you than I do right now - thanks!

Hey Jenny, after you do all that, would you CIRCLE BACK AROUND with me to confirm the details of that which we've already discussed ad nauseum, and given SOFT CONFIRMATION (actually, I just made that one up, but it does sound corporate, doesn't it?) a thousand times, but if we actually make a decision and PUT IT TO BED, we'll have to find more work to do and who wants to do that?

The phrases at my office that really put a stick in my craw are:
"Do you own an alarm clock?"
"You only get ONE hour for lunch."
"Internet euchre is not a research tool."

I was going to say "low-hanging fruit", but then I remembered "take this conversation off-line". What ever happened to "I'll call you later?" Grrr.

No, wait- this is what really gets me- "professional". I run into so many people who use this in the context of "it needs to look more professional", which ultimately is saying "I don't like it, but I can't begin to articulate why. Make it look more expensive, that will shut me up."

Alright, so "professional" isn't really a catch-phrase, I just got caught up in the corporate jibber-jabber. Perhaps we should have a "come to Jesus" meeting to get me back in the loop.

(Oh, and I do like the phrase "soft confirmation" used above. I think I'll appropriate it to explain why I no longer call myself a Catholic- "I was confirmed, but it must have been a soft confirmation- it didn't take.")

I think I'm going to do a write in and give you the phrase "Be That As It May". It basically means, "I know I'm wrong but you know what? It doesn't matter." I have had more bosses say that to me when they know I'm correct about something but they're going to call me on the carpet anyway. Grrrrrrr

Sudiegirl

In the final analysis and at the end of the day--we need to be active, not reactive. I just wanted to give you all a heads up, FYI.

B. "Low-hanging fruit" sounds vaguely obscene. I once had a boss who frequently encouraged us to "take it to the hoop" and "pull the sled." I liked that he went beyond baseball and football metaphors and into Winter Olympics territory.

And what the hell is PROACTIVE? It's just ACTIVE, dammit. I defy you to act before you act.

the one i hear most commonly is "can we take this offline?" as if these inept execs who can barely operate their email accounts and powerpoint think sitting around a table on their fat asses in their aeron chairs is "online" i always like to imagine them having to squeeze themselves through a DSL cable to take it offline. it makes me smile.

"Think outside the box" definitely aggrevates me. And you know what else drives me crazy? When people talk about "synergy". What the hell is "synergy"? Does anyone really know? Synergistic connections? ARGH!

KISS (Keep it simple stupid)