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TEQUILACON '08 - Latest Updates
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and illustrations by kris dresen
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The Day Before…
…is mostly a blur because my trip got off to a rough start due to an unwelcome cold that on Friday turned into what felt like an icicle being stabbed in my left eye for 15 hours straight. Mercifully, a good night’s sleep and lots of what I now affectionately call Italian Tylenol (“Hey! It’s red, white and green!”) helped me pull it together in time for TequilaCon.
The Morning Of…
… was when I tried to fit in at least a few essential sightseeing activities since it’s been over a decade since I’ve been to Philadelphia. My friends Natasha, Farnsworth and Dee-Dee decided join me in Philly, so we all started off the day with a trip to the Reading Market.
I was so sad that I jumped at the first food opportunity and filled my belly with a stupid (albeit tasty) almond polenta cake because I would find out minutes later that mere steps away stood the Amish lunch counter where they served HOMEMADE CHICKEN POT PIES and APPLE DUMPLINGS. I didn’t even know apple dumplings were real - I thought it was just the name of the gang. Once again, the Amish get everything right.
Next we got our history on by checking out the Liberty Bell. A Japanese tourist in front of me was confused and disappointed to learn that he couldn’t bring a knife with a 5” blade into the building, nor could he throw it outside for the kids to play with. “Whatever happened to the right to bear arms?” is what I almost said, but I was being strip searched at the time.
After I took Dee-Dee’s picture in back of the bell, because no one could get past the droves of tourists in front of the bell (apparently, if you can’t see the crack, it’s just like any other bell), we headed over to Philosopher’s Hall, which is what I like to call the Poor Man’s Independence Hall, mostly because it’s the only option for those of us who didn’t plan ahead and get tickets for Independence Hall.
The Evening Of…
… actually began in the late afternoon. Vahid, Dustin, Dave and I all arrived at the Northbowl Lounge and Lanes around 3:30pm to stake our claim on some seats to prepare for the actual event. If you could have videotaped me walking up the steps to the upstairs lounge, you would have seen a 10-year old child who just got a Wii for Christmas.
I flipped my wig, seriously. I think this is a direct quote, “Ohmigod you guys! Ohmigod! I’m freaking out! This is so perfect! There’s no one here! Ohmigod! Look – they have Family Guy! Ohmigod it’s Ms. Pacman! You guys this is so awesome! I am so happy! I can’t even tell you how happy I am! Ohmigod it’s a Spiderman pinball! Oh wait I don’t think I’ve ever played Spiderman pinball so I don’t know if I should be excited about that one but anyway! Ohmigod you guys! Everyone is going to love this! Ohmigod! I’m so happy!”
The guys kindly humored me as I bounced around like a total freak for another 15 minutes or so, and then they ordered some food. When the menu came, it was Dustin’s turn: “Ohmigod you guys ohmigod! You didn’t tell me they had seven kinds of tater tots here! Ohmigod I’m so happy! Seven kinds – are you kidding me? I’m so happy right now!”
But really, the space was just perfect. Huge, open seating areas with comfy leather couches, three pool tables, video games, pinball machines, a separate bar, and not a soul up there. Oh, except for a bunch of 13-year old girls having a birthday party. We kept giving them the stink eye every time they even thought about sitting down on one of “our” couches.
The only thing that could have made it better for me is if my TequilaCon co-founder and personal life coach – Brandon – could have been there. I did the next best thing, though, and ensured that he would appear in more photos and in more compromising positions than he ever would have accomplished in real life. He was everywhere… watching over us all, popping up in the unlikeliest of places.
Dave set up the awesome swag table with his lanyards and buttons, and I set out the official TequilaProm mix CD’s. I was in charge of dance hits, while Brandon sent us his love from afar by compiling the greatest assortment of 80’s love ballads ever known to man.
Lisa and her husband, Dude, were the first to arrive and I was so excited not only to meet them, but to have some more bodies to keep the teenyboppers away from our couches. Shortly thereafter, more and more bloggers started to wander in, including my friends Seamus and Dr. Greene who had just arrived from DC.
I can’t even begin to sum up all that occurred that night, but it involved a ton of:
o Laughing
o Pinballing
o Tater totting
o Brandoning
o Mustaching
o Foosballing
o Dancing
o Tattooing
o Singing
o Voicemailing
o And a little bit of drinking
It was absolutely everything I had hoped for and more – but why did they have to close at 2am? There were so many people I didn't get to spend enough time with!
The Day After…
… was my last chance to spend a little more time with everyone before they headed off to their respective homes, as well as my final opportunity to see more of Philadelphia. Everyone had raved to me about the Frida Kahlo exhibit at the Philadelphia Art Museum, so Dee-Dee, Dustin, Vahid, Dave and I went there after breakfast.
My planning skills were clearly burnt out, because it never even occurred to me that we might have trouble getting tickets to THE MOST POPULAR ART EXHIBIT IN THE CITY at noon on a Sunday during its final two weeks. The earliest they could fit us in was four hours later, so we had to take a pass on Frida because she hates bloggers. She always has.
Instead, we just wandered around the art museum and looked at paintings of baby Jesuses and dead pheasants and transgendered Little Lord Fauntleroys. At one point, as we made our way through the contemporary art section, I transformed into a pre-pubescent boy and made myself cry laughing by pointing at abstract portraits and telling Vahid and Dustin, “That’s your girlfriend!”
I probably will not be asked back to the Philadelphia Art Museum.
No trip to Philadelphia would be complete, of course, without the obligatory photo in front of the statue of the founder of Pennsylvania, Rocky Balboa.
Some other stuff happened, like when Dee-Dee met some women in a public restroom who confessed that Steak Escape is way better than Geno’s cheese steaks, but I think we’re all pretty tired by now.
So in conclusion:
1. Bloggers = awesome
2. Philadelphia = awesome
3. Tequilacon = awesome
4. Rocky = awesome
5. That painting = Dustin and Vahid’s girlfriend
A million thanks to everyone who attended and made this such a fun-filled event, and a Brazilian thanks to Dave, Dustin, Vahid, Brandon and the extended Pacific Northwest planning committee who helped make this a total success! Until next year…
Posted by runjenrun at May 5, 2008 10:27 PM
Sounds like it was so much fun and I'm SO sad I wasn't there! :(
Posted by: BlondeBlogger at May 5, 2008 11:44 PM
OMG, i keep looking for the silver lining in missing TC, and it just so happens that i always aspired to be a gerund!
my goodness, you are amazing at this.
Posted by: brandon at May 5, 2008 11:46 PM
I'm embarrassed to admit that I didn't realize until too late that it was Dee-Dee who was annihilating Vahid at Ms. PacMan. I didn't even get the Milwaukee reference when she teed it up and hit it at me during a break in the carnage. It's just that I've never seen anyone destroyed like that at an early-80s arcade game and all I could do was stand there and try to process it. This was second only to watching Kat shoot all 25 discs of crap flying from the business end of cows in the game next door. I mean, seriously...that's a lot of shit.
Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' at May 5, 2008 11:47 PM
I don't know how you do it but you make rockin' amazing fun sound so rockin' amazing fun!
Posted by: Don at May 6, 2008 12:59 AM
yes sir, i do hate bull shit. what can i say?
Posted by: kat! at May 6, 2008 04:54 AM
That was a great venue, and the waitress was a trooper. You guys did an excellent job, and I'd totally vote for you as blog prom queen. Well, you or Dave.
Posted by: Avitable at May 6, 2008 06:44 AM
blondeblogger: i'm so sad you missed it too! it really was a good time.
brandon: next year you might even make it to adverb! we definitely missed you.
sir: dee-dee totally dominates at ms. pacman - i don't even bother playing her. and i, too, was astounded by kat's amazing buck hunting skills. who knew?
don: i'm just laying out the facts - this story tells itself. :)
kat: you were like a cyborg!
avitable: OMG - our waitress was awesome. i'm pretty confident she was well compensated for her awesomeness. and i will gladly share my prom queen status with dave, as long as i get to keep the tiara first.
Posted by: jenny at May 6, 2008 06:57 AM
Frida's loathing of bloggers is well documented. I'm pretty sure it was the subject of many of her paintings. Oh well... TequilaCon was awesomeness defined, so we showed her!
Posted by: Dave2 at May 6, 2008 07:12 AM
Hi Jenny! Next year I'll come say hi. I am relatively shy with new people, despite it looking to the contrary at the bowling alley. ;)
And, omg that was one of the funnest nights EVAR. So glad I got to go!
Posted by: Poppy at May 6, 2008 09:07 AM
From the pics and posts it sounds like it was yet again another stellar TequilaCon. You're the master, Jenny!
I hope to be able to attend next year. Now go rest- you deserve a nap. ;)
Posted by: sizzle at May 6, 2008 09:29 AM
I am totally in awe of you guys -- I'll second the motion in nominating you and Dave for Blogger Prom Queens. The bowling alley blew me away -- and that's not easy!
You done wonderful, and I'm glad you had a good time too.
Posted by: Finn at May 6, 2008 12:41 PM
I can't wait for next year!!! :) :) :)
Posted by: Poppy at May 6, 2008 01:19 PM
It's true what you said about Frida Kahlo hating bloggers. Have you ever seen a painting of hers with an actual blogger in it? No you haven't and now we all know why.
Posted by: churlita at May 6, 2008 01:28 PM
Thank YOU for planning it. It was awesome and so were you. Next time, I need to stay for day time festivities.
Posted by: Black Belt Mama at May 6, 2008 02:10 PM
It was everything I dreamed it would be... only except for the part where I wasn't actually there. But: between the photos and the text message, the phone call, and the awesome recaps, I feel like maybe I was.
Posted by: shari at May 6, 2008 06:28 PM
so who got to keep all the brandon heads at the end of the night? how many people did brandon end up going home with?
Posted by: asia at May 6, 2008 07:07 PM
dave2: no kidding! i don't know what diego ever saw in her. everyone knows he was a big-time blogger.
poppy: no worries... because next time i'll hunt you down! so glad you came and had a good time, and i can't wait for next year either!
sizzle: we definitely missed you there, sizzle!
finn: thanks so much for coming. and i totally loved that bowling alley - and philly! i need to go back now!
churlita:i think she was bitter because she never really got that much traffic on her site.
BBM: thanks so much! and yeah, the daytime hijinks are always lots of fun, too. see - we don't need alcohol to have a good time!
shari: i love that you were at you son's game when i called - too funny. good thing he won, or i would've been even sadder that you weren't there.
asia: vahid kept one, but the other four made their way home with various ladies throughout the evening.
Posted by: jenny at May 6, 2008 09:56 PM
Tater tots and tattoos: now there's a combination I'm sorry I missed. Looks like you put together a rockin' good time, congrats on another successful TC!
Posted by: claire at May 6, 2008 10:35 PM
That all sounds about right to me, but she's NOT my girlfriend, Jenny! Gosh!
Posted by: vahid at May 6, 2008 11:55 PM
I think this one actually passed 11. Great work every step of the way. I'm glad I crashed the Con.
Thanks for all the hard work. I'm glad you were able to enjoy it.
Posted by: Seamus at May 7, 2008 12:10 AM
I've tried not to read about the TC '08 event, but you know, I frequent Dave's, Karl's, Avitable's, and Kevin's blogs (wow, lotta boys there, eh?) so I was bound to find some link to it and it was time I dropped by your place anyway so FINE. I'M HERE. I SEE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME.
Posted by: Mocha at May 7, 2008 11:41 AM
I really want to say THANK YOU. I had an awesome time and it was a great way to get out and meet local and not local bloggers and new people.
You did an amazing job of putting this together! You rock!
Posted by: bubblewench at May 7, 2008 02:44 PM
I echo everyone's sentiments...
Jen - You ROCK!!!
Very well put together, thanks to you and the rest of the commitee's exceptional organizational skills!
I'm looking forward to next years!
~ZZ
Posted by: Greeneyezz at May 7, 2008 07:11 PM
claire: it was such an awesome combo - who knew?
vahid: IS TOO! IS TOO!
seamus: i'm so glad you made the trip as well! but now you're going to have to come to the next one... ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
mocha: i begged and i pleaded to get you there, but to no avail. next time, my friend. next time.
bubblewench: thanks so much! i'm so glad you had a good time - i really had a blast.
greeneyezz: right back at ya, babe! next year you'll have to bring your dancing shoes, because no excuses allowed now that i know you've got moves!
Posted by: jenny at May 7, 2008 11:24 PM
Geez, after all the publicity for TC08, maybe you'd better reserve the Houston Astrodome for 2009!
In all seriousness, I respectfully submit LAS VEGAS as a suggestion for next year's locale. Funnest city on earth.
Posted by: SJ at May 8, 2008 06:39 AM
sounds like a good time was had by all....maybe one of these years I will be able to attend....I have heard next year it will be on the West Caost, so I probably won't be able to afford it next year...that's ok, I can live vicariously though all of you folks! :)
Posted by: Cissa Fireheart at May 8, 2008 10:06 AM
Jen, you rawk! Thank you so much for doing all this. It makes me tired thinking about it. Brandon made a nice fan. I'm glad he made it in spirit anyway.
I think the Midwest would make a good place for the next one. ;)
Posted by: Shelli at May 8, 2008 04:03 PM
I really should have stayed for Sunday...
Posted by: sandra at May 11, 2008 02:43 PM
seriously, I think I could have set a new all time ms. pac record if I had been watching the board instead of watching Kat kill everything with hitman like precision ... good times!
Posted by: dee dee at May 12, 2008 07:35 PM
I think I tater totted myself into another plane of reality that night.
As for that painting...don't you wish my girlfriend was hot like me? I know I do.
Posted by: Dustin at May 13, 2008 06:28 PM
