I’ve got to be honest – I really don’t appreciate the tone The 2010 Census is taking with me. I’ll answer my ten questions when I’m good and ready. Yeah, I know… I’ve seen the ads. My lack of participation is screwing things for all the other 39 year old white unmarried childless women out there, but I don’t even care. Just try to take away all our government funding for cat litter and box wine. I f*cking dare you! If anyone so much as thought about cutting our annual funds for retro-chic craft projects and skinny jeans that we knew were unflattering when we bought them but we bought them anyway, my people would rise up like a tsunami and level this country.
I’m *this* close to filing a restraining order against The 2010 Census. The post cards, the letters, the packets, the follow up letters, the second packet, the threats of legal action. What’s next? You gonna send Ed Begley over to my house to haul me off to jail in his solar car? Do you have any idea how many ironic folk renditions of classic pop songs we could have purchased on iTunes with the money you’re spending on postage alone? So many.
Frankly, I think this whole census thing is the reason I forgot to post the March 1960 Girl Scout calendar photo. The 2010 Census is screwing up my whole life! Laundry piling up? GODDAMN 2010 CENSUS! Taxes still due? GODDAMN 2010 CENSUS! Acid reflux? GODDAMN 2010 CENSUS! Computer crashed? GODDAMN 2010 CENSUS!
Well, I can’t let The 2010 Census ruin my life any longer. It’s time I took back control, so please accept these inspiring photos of sisters doing it for themselves as my sincerest apology. Goddamn 2010 census.