“My project manager has lice,” she said. She had recently started a new job in a new city and was still getting to know her coworkers. “She says they don’t jump, but I heard they can jump 40 feet.”

“No, I think you’re thinking of fleas. Fleas can jump 40 feet.”

“Well, but lice can live without food for like a year, so I can never feel safe.”

“No, you’re thinking of bedbugs. They can live for a really long time without food.”

“They push around giant piles of poo.”

“Those are dung beetles.”

“They lay eggs in your eyes.”


“They eat the head off their mate.”

“That’s a praying mantis.”

“Well, I know they have poisonous spurs.”

“Okay, that’s a platypus. Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“What were we talking about?”

“Lice. Your coworker told you she has lice.”

“Oh, right. They can jump like 40 feet, you know?”