Lice

“My project manager has lice,” she said. She had recently started a new job in a new city and was still getting to know her coworkers. “She says they don’t jump, but I heard they can jump 40 feet.”

“No, I think you’re thinking of fleas. Fleas can jump 40 feet.”

“Well, but lice can live without food for like a year, so I can never feel safe.”

“No, you’re thinking of bedbugs. They can live for a really long time without food.”

“They push around giant piles of poo.”

“Those are dung beetles.”

“They lay eggs in your eyes.”

“Hookworms.”

“They eat the head off their mate.”

“That’s a praying mantis.”

“Well, I know they have poisonous spurs.”

“Okay, that’s a platypus. Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“What were we talking about?”

“Lice. Your coworker told you she has lice.”

“Oh, right. They can jump like 40 feet, you know?”