“My project manager has lice,” she said. She had recently started a new job in a new city and was still getting to know her coworkers. “She says they don’t jump, but I heard they can jump 40 feet.”

“No, I think you’re thinking of fleas. Fleas can jump 40 feet.”

“Well, but lice can live without food for like a year, so I can never feel safe.”

“No, you’re thinking of bedbugs. They can live for a really long time without food.”

“They push around giant piles of poo.”

“Those are dung beetles.”

“They lay eggs in your eyes.”


“They eat the head off their mate.”

“That’s a praying mantis.”

“Well, I know they have poisonous spurs.”

“Okay, that’s a platypus. Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“What were we talking about?”

“Lice. Your coworker told you she has lice.”

“Oh, right. They can jump like 40 feet, you know?”

13 Responses to “Lice”

  1. Don Says:

    Yeah, and they give you crabs.

  2. You can call me, 'Sir' Says:

    I don’t think it’s healthy to know so much about that many flavors of vermin.

  3. Bev Says:

    For lice: Just listened to the People’s Pharmacy, they recommend Listerine (the old fashioned tan kind) applied to the scalp overnight. They say it works…

  4. Roy Says:

    We used to have earwigs, who, if they got in your ear, would then eat their way through your brain to exit out your other ear. We worried about them back then. I mean they were often in our thoughts.

  5. jenny Says:

    don: no, you’re thinking of hookers.

    sir: i just watched “microcosmos,” so ask me about how ants milk aphids for their butt nectar. no really, ask me.

    bev: having tasted listerine, that does not surprise me in the least. :)

    roy: earwigs are the second most horrific bugs in the world. cockroaches still reign supreme, though.

  6. hello haha narf Says:

    people never cease to amaze me!

  7. Sarah Says:

    Ew, lice.

    Now my head itches.

  8. shari Says:

    Aren’t you getting a bit nit picky? *groan*

    In other news, dust mites look really fierce when viewed through a microscope.

  9. Robin Says:

    Thanks, I just read about lice right before going to bed, where I will think about lice attacking my head and bedbugs attacking the rest of me…ick!

  10. vahid Says:

    All those abilities make lice seem like the unicorns of the parasite world.

  11. Bob Robson Says:

    Oooh, I feel like shaving my head…

  12. Cheryl Says:

    I just now realized you’re back in the blogosphere. Hurray! Who else could I count on to keep me posted about the talents of platypi?

  13. Jessica Says:

    Hooray! A new post from Jen!

    We had a lice scare in our house (elementary kid carriers). I had no idea they eat the head off their mate…;-)

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