My That Was Bigamy

I’m not proud of what I’m about to tell you, but I feel like I need to bring you up to speed on some recent changes in my life. During my business trip, I cheated on my husband. I never thought I would meet someone who excited me as much as Orangehat does, but sometimes life throws you a curveball and you just have to make lemonade.
His name is Seattle, and I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life.
I just never thought my life would end up this way. I take marriage very seriously, and once I commit, I commit wholeheartedly. But things have been a little rocky between Orangehat and me lately – he seems distant, silent, absent. Sometimes I look at him on the train and wonder who he is. It’s almost like looking into the eyes of a stranger.
Next week will reveal all the intimate details of my love affair, but I just wanted to make sure that you heard this first from me, and not through the tabloids. This isn’t just a casual fling – it was truly love at first sight – I fell head over heels for Sea (that’s my nickname for him). I can’t say that I feel good about the fact that I’m throwing away everything Orangehat and I have built together this year, but I just wasn’t feeling fulfilled in that relationship. Sometimes you have to take risks in life and follow your heart.
In fact, I really have my co-worker Tiffany to thank for my newfound bliss. Throughout the whole trip, I kept telling her how much I loved the city. So at one point, out of sheer frustration, she turned to me and said, “Well if you love Seattle so much, why don’t you just marry it?”
Marry it? Me and Seattle? Hitched?
A few scotches and a blood test later, I found myself at the Seattle Courthouse, waiting behind two fuchsia haired teens, one of whom looked to be pregnant. Before I signed the papers, I grabbed Seattle’s hand, turned to him, and said, “Babe, are you sure about this? I’ve got baggage, you know. I’ve got flaws. I’ve got a husband back home. I mean, are we really ready for this kind of commitment? I just don’t want you to ever regret…”
Seattle held my face in his gentle hands, put his finger to my lips, and said, “Shhh. Jenny, look at me. Look at me – I’ve never been more ready in my life. If I can wake up next to you every day for the rest of my life, I’ll be the happiest city in the world.”
My mind is swirling right now, so I can’t write much more. I’ll fill you all in next week, but right now, I’ve got to start planning our honeymoon – we’re going to Portland!

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