My brother, upon finding me, his wife, and our mother in the kitchen drinking wine at 11:30 this morning:

Brother: “Jeez – what a bunch of lushes. It’s not even noon yet!”

Mom: “Yeah, I guess this doesn’t look good, does it?

Me: “I’m not worried. I know I don’t have a drinking problem because I’m very controlled about it. Aside from the holidays, the only time I drink is when I’m alone or sad.”

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