Weekly Opinion Poll: Oh, Sexy Girlfriend…

I realized yesterday that I was so excited about all the new things I’ve been learning about you, that I completely forgot to post the results of our last two surveys. Forgive me for this egregious oversight, won’t you please? You’re a lamb!
On the topic of which pop singer you would bring with you to a deserted island, and then subsequently devour, the overwhelming favorites were: Phil Collins and Charlotte Church. Their publicists have ignored my every request for comments.
And now, I can share my selection: I would choose John Mayer because I would experience absolutely no remorse whatsoever over eating him. His music makes me want to stick hot forks in my ears, and it takes all my inner strength not to pluck out my own eyes whenever I see his mush-mouth face contort while he sings. In fact, I might eat him before the plane even crashed.
Moving on to another music-related topic, but a more sensitive one, I was so excited to read all your feedback about songs that make you cry. I must also give special thanks to all the men who responded, thereby dispelling the commonly held belief that men are made of stone and ash. Now we know – you’re all squishy inside, just like us!
Of the choices provided, the overwhelming winner was “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton. In hindsight, it was almost unfair to list that song as one of the choices, because it’s so over the top sad. I must admit, however, that I was a bit shocked and disappointed that no one – not a single person – voted for my favorite, “Boys of Summer.” I just don’t get it – it’s a sad song, people! Come on!
Week by week, I’m drawing a clearer and clearer picture of who you are, what makes you tick, what goes on inside that head of yours. So this week, it’s time to talk about sex, baby. That’s right, I said it. Don’t worry, it’s G-rated sex talk – my momma raised me right!
Earlier this week, as I was sitting on the train after work, looking around at all the weary 9-to-5’ers on the ride home, I discovered something about myself: I find it very sexy when men loosen their ties and unbutton the top button of their shirts after a long day. But I do not find it sexy if they take the tie all the way off. There’s just something about that moderately loose, slightly askew necktie that says, “I take my job seriously, but beware – the only thing restraining the passionate beast within me is my moderately loose, slightly askew necktie.”
So I started thinking – why do I find something so unsexy sexy? Am I a freak? Is this because I was home-schooled? Before I allow myself to dig any deeper into my inner psyche, I thought I should pose the question to the group. So please have your number two pencils ready… and BEGIN!
Question: what is the sexiest, non-traditionally sexy item of clothing/accessory someone can wear? (write-ins accepted)
A. Hooded sweatshirt
B. Plaid flannel pajamas
C. Chuck Taylor high tops
D. Argyle socks
E. Coveralls
F. Baseball cap
G. Heavy-framed eyeglasses
H. Clunky shoes

19 Responses to “Weekly Opinion Poll: Oh, Sexy Girlfriend…”

  1. teahouseblossom Says:

    Oh, definitely argyle socks!! I’m a sucker for a man who wears argyle socks.

  2. mahreeuh Says:

    I am a total sucker for a guy in goofy pajama pants. I got my sweetie PJ pants with burgers and fries on them and he looks oh so sexy when he’s walking around the house in them. It shows he’s sweet and confident and funny. Total package….yum :-)

  3. kris Says:

    A gal wearing Chuck Taylors always gets a second look from me. Moreso so if she’s bold enough to bypass the more popular black for an edgier color like forrest green or, dare I say it, pink.
    Crap. Did I just say that out loud?

  4. Jessica Says:

    I admit to being a freak…I find David Letterman sexy. One of my favorite things in the world is when he first walks out to do his monologue and his pants always seem just a tad too short and I get a glimpse of what looks like out-of-place, white socks. It’s so odd to me and yet somehow so appealing. This probably only works on me with David Letterman, though.
    On the everyday, average guy, I like it when they roll or push their sleeves up and you can see their masculine, hairy forearms.

  5. Robert Says:

    I don’t know if it’s unsexy sexy, but if a woman’s wearing jeans and a tee-shirt (tucked in) and has her hair pulled back in a pony tail AND has a pair of glasses on top of her head…I’m done for.
    Not that I’ve thought about this or anything.

  6. Junebug Says:

    I love the plaid-flannel-pj-bottoms look. Pair that with a crisp plain-white undershirt and I am in love…

  7. Strode Says:

    Gotta be coveralls. Drawn in at the waist and baggy everywhere else. Makes you wander what is underneath. Leaves something to the imagination.

  8. brando Says:

    i would like to say something funny, but the god’s honest truth is i’ve actually already thought about this, and the thing that really drives the eyeballs into the back of my head are toe socks. good god, jen, thanks. thanks a lot.

  9. Jenny Says:

    Wait – Brandon – are you saying that toe socks turn you on? Please say it ain’t so! My friend Seamus bought me a pair of rainbow toe socks (are there any other kind?) for my b-day this year because I went on a rant about how they completely freak me out.

    The only thing worse I can imagine would be wearing toe socks while walking through a giant vat of beef stroganoff. And now I must chop off my feet…

  10. sftr Says:

    Hmmmmm…it depends on the look of the guy. I love baseball hats on certain guys (not if the guy looks too much like a jock, though). I love hooded-sweatshirts on skinny/grungy guys. Clunky shoes are nice on well-dressed guys and glasses are great on guys with dark hair and light eyes…can you tell I am indecisive?

  11. brando Says:

    Yes! well, i would have responded sooner, but apparently maintenance found me passed out at my keyboard. apparently i had googled ‘rainbow toe socks runjenrun’
    i don’t know what image i saw, because they’ve confiscated my computer, and i’m in shackles. thanks, jen. thanks a lot.

  12. Fiorello LaGuardia Says:

    Well, if I have to stick to your list,I’ll take the heavy framed eyeglasses.
    But, if the truth be told, I am pretty ordinary. It would be…….suspenders holding up the trousers of a 40’ish guy who also sports a well-trimmed moustache. Ahhh, does anyone out there remember William Powell as the thin man…or Clark Gable as anyone? LOL

  13. mateo Says:

    Oh boy… a man in dark rimmed glasses? I’m hooked. Hubba hubba. I’m a TOTAL sucker for nerds. Talk nerdy to me baby. Bill Pullman? Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.

  14. Steve Says:

    A habit. Oh man, when girls wear those, I just melt. Especially with a big bling-bling gold cross.

  15. AB Says:

    I love the baseball cap look. I don’t know what it is – but it makes the shape of their head just, well, more, er…. sexy?

  16. jill Says:

    I gotta say, if it’s on the right body, flannel pajama bottoms can be quite the accessory. See Christian Bale in Batman for reference. Okay, so maybe they weren’t flannel, but whatev. They’re bottoms, throwing focus to a pretty amazing unclothed top.

  17. angela Says:

    I love a guy in corduroy pants.
    A little bit of a receding hairline, with the hair combed forward. I like when it’s starting to gray too, just a few gray hairs here and there.
    I like a little bit of a belly, too.
    I think that’s it.

  18. katie Says:

    Is the title of this post a reference to Sixteen Candles? If so it fits perfect because I love little Asian guys who can barely speak English, wear arglye sweaters and are named after a duck’s private parts. (wink)

  19. Jenny Says:

    K: Good catch! I suppose I also could’ve titled this, What’s happenin’, hot stuff?