Taxi Driver
Driver – 50-ish heavyset Greek woman with thick accent
Me – 30-ish road-weary traveler, desperate for her own bed after arriving home almost six hours later than scheduled
Driver: You’re not going to suburbs, right? No, suburbs. Chicago, right?
Me: Huh? Yeah. Chicago.
Driver: Last guy want me to take him to Deerfield, but he don’t wanna pay price. I say, I’m not taking you to Deerfield for nothing, you know. Told him to get in other cab.
Me: Nope. Just going to Chicago. Please.
[Me notices Driver getting off at the wrong exit to take Me home]
Me: Uh, which way are you going?
Driver: There’s construction up there. Sign says to take alternate route. Exit is closed. You didn’t read sign. I’m reading sign. I know where I’m going.
Me: Uh, okay.
Driver: You know, I pick up lots of famous people in this cab. You know Stephanopoulos? Secretary of State? I give ride to him one time.
Me: Wow. Did you know it was him right away?
Driver: Of course I don’t know it was him. I say to him, Why are there state police cars driving in front of my cab? He tell me, You don’t know who I am? I say, Who you are? You are passenger to me. I’m driving cab. What do I know?
Me: Funny.
Driver: But Stephanopoulos very nice guy. His parents from Athens. I tell you, he speak very good Greek. His Greek very good.
Me: He’s nice looking, too.
Driver: Hmph. Oh, and you know the actor – Kojak?
Me: You mean Telly Savalas?
Driver: Telly…? Whatever – you know, Kojak. Well, one day I pick up Kojak in car. I look at him and say, You Kojak, but how you can be Kojak? He dead!
Me: Oh, that’s right.
Driver: He tell me he Kojak nephew! I tell you, he look just like picture of Kojak. Every part of face, just like Kojak.
Me: Was he bald?
Driver: Yes! What I tell you? He look just like Kojak. How he gonna look like Kojak if he’s not bald?
Me: Funny. Kojak is Greek, right?
Driver: Kojak? Yeah, of course he Greek. But Kojak nephew not speak good Greek. He tell me he don’t understand my Greek too much.
Me: Hmph. Guess you meet all kinds of people driving a cab.
Driver: You for sure. All kinds of crazy people. Like that guy. Want me to take him to Deerfield for $20. Hmph.
Filed under: General on July 14th, 2005
July 14th, 2005 at 7:54 am
Hah! She sounds funny…I could “hear” her voice while I read your dialogue. Glad you made it home.
July 14th, 2005 at 12:46 pm
are you greek? because it sounds like your cab driver only picks up greeks. ha!
cheers
hooizz
July 15th, 2005 at 3:38 pm
Great accent. Why am I imagining you going all method typing for this? For some reason, I see a long scarf and crazy hair and a bottle of ouzo…
July 15th, 2005 at 4:16 pm
J: She *was* funny! But I barely made it home alive – she drove like a maniac!
H: Nope, Sicilian and German. I guess the dark curly hair fooled her enough to pick me up.
T.O.V.: Ooh, you’re pretty close, but it was flaming cheese, not ouzo. OPAH!
July 15th, 2005 at 5:27 pm
Jenny – now that you mention it, I was nearly killed in a cab myself in your good ol’ town of Chicago a few months ago…
July 16th, 2005 at 10:38 am
This reminds me of a time when it took my roomie and I an hour and a half of waiting to get a cab we had called for at our apartment. When we got in the cab, the driver began yelling at us, sort of as a pre-emptive strike for being so late. A few weeks later, the same cab driver came and picked us up, didn’t recognize us, and ranted all the way downtown about these two “bitches” he picked up on the same block once who called multiple times for a cab and got him in trouble.
That was kind of a tangeant. But Jennifer Aniston is Telly Savalas’ goddaughter. There, now it’s a related comment!
G
July 16th, 2005 at 3:49 pm
excellent dialogue.
and ooooh, flaming cheese. thanks for that reminder.
July 16th, 2005 at 6:51 pm
So, did she charge you less than $20?