Summer Days

Evidence that perhaps I should plan more structured activities during my summer days off – a play in one act.
Me: 34-year old marketing professional, home on a day off of work
Judy: 5-year old Siamese cat, home because she’s a cat

Scene: It’s Friday at 2:32pm and Me is hanging around her apartment, hair still damp from the shower she took two hours ago. There is no food in the house, so she wanders aimlessly from room to room, picking up and setting down the same Dorothy Allison novel. Judy is sleeping peacefully on Me’s computer chair.
Me [picking up Judy and holding her high in the air]: Who’s the littlest monkey in the world? Who’s the tiniest little baby monkey I’ve ever seen? You are! Oh wait, no. I think spider monkeys might be tinier. But you’re smaller than a chimpanzee! Yes you are!
Judy says nothing, but squirms a bit.
Me [pushing Judy’s ears down]: Who’s my little lamb? You look just like a baby lamb. Who’s the littlest, tiniest lamb I’ve ever seen? What’s a lamb doing on my computer chair?
Judy remains silent, but stares intently at a spot on the floor. Her tail starts to twitch, slowly at first, then faster.
Me [lifting Judy’s ears up]: How did that bat get in my house? Why is there a vampire bat on my computer chair?
Me notices Judy’s brother, Punch, walking into the room and directs her attention toward him.
Me [lifting Punch’s front legs off the floor and making him dance]: Hey there, big fat kangaroo! How did the fattest, shortest kangaroo I’ve ever seen get into my apartment? What are you do-
Punch hisses.

15 Responses to “Summer Days”

  1. romy Says:

    Me : [spitting coffee through my nose] Her representation of my quality time with my cat is just uncanny !

  2. Strode Says:

    You poor lonely marketing professional you. *sniff*

  3. Dean Says:

    Have you considered actually leaving the house when you get like this? I hear the outside world offers a load of activities more engaging than dancing with cats.
    I’m sure the cats would appreciate the alone time.

  4. brando Says:

    whoo! who’s my little storyblogger featured in blogebrity? you are!

  5. Jenny Says:

    D: Oh no you di’nt! Oh no you di’nt just tell me to stop dancing with my cats!

    B: My initial reaction was, “Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Brando?” But then I checked out blogebrity. Hey! That was cool! Thanks for the heads up – I had no idea!

  6. Dean Says:

    No, no I never said,”Stop dancing with your cats.” I was simply suggesting that you might be able to find some actual human interaction elsewhere. I hear some humans can dance. Maybe you could take up with one of them.

  7. Hap Says:

    girl gotta get sugar yeah yeah that what she need yeah yeah hot hot hot inside the Loop fannie mae done gone away yeah yeah sugah sugah doo doo doo doo doot doo ah honey honey you are my candy girl

    or so one might surmise

  8. Jenny Says:

    Dean: Humans dancing with humans? Well, now I’ve just about heard everything.

    Hap: Uh… and I’m the one who needs to get out more? Mmm… Fannie Mae!

  9. Anonymous Says:

    Dear Jenny,
    As long as you didn’t have your tap shoes on when you were dancing with Punch, I think you’re OK.

  10. shari Says:

    What’s so funny?

  11. The Complimenting Commenter Says:

    I don’t think you need structure because that was really funny. I love fun cat stories. I like their different reactions too. Neat post.

  12. jill Says:

    Oh my god. So hysterically funny. Can’t breath funny. I like the recurring theme of the computer chair, of the cat on the computer chair. . . how it speaks to the tension between work-life and home-life, how it stands both as an object of pure functionality and a stage for whimsical fantasy.
    Do you outline before you compose?

  13. Jenny Says:

    V: No, I didn’t have my tap shoes on. But Punch did.

    S: I see you must be a fellow cat owner… ;)

    C: My cats might disagree with you, but thanks!

    J: I want you to analyze all my writing, because you make me sound really smart. And then I want you to analyze my dreams, please.

  14. Jessica Says:

    Hah! As a cat owner/lover, I absolutely adore this post….*snicker*

  15. Omar Says:

    HAHAHAHAHA! Great play! :)
    I have a cat who I treat like Judy but looks like Punch (in fact, his name is similar: Pancho). Now I have some more fun things for him — Monkey: check. Lamb: check. Vampire Bat: double-check! Thanks for the ideas!