Watch Me Flex

“Wow! What a stud!”

“No kidding! I picked the right elevator to get trapped in.”

This afternoon, with brute force and unparalleled strength, I pried open the doors of an elevator, while the other five passengers stood around sighing heavily and pressing the “Door Open” button forty-five times in a row.

A river of testosterone is coursing through my veins.

A fifty year old woman called me a stud.

I’m gonna go smash some shit now.

29 Responses to “Watch Me Flex”

  1. kat Says:

    smashing shit. count me in.

  2. shari Says:

    SWEEET! I’m in, too!
    Oh wait… we’re not actually going to smash shit, are we? Because I’m all about using your extraordinary powers for good, not evil. Y’know, like prying elevator passengers from the maw of death. It’s a bird, it’s a plane…. it’s SuperJen! You’re such a stud.

  3. jenny Says:

    C’mon, Shari – Kat’s totally in! The three of us? Why, we could smash some serious shit. I’m thinking about taking a sledghammer to some tv’s, and my neighbors have a faux leather sleeper sofa out by the garbage that we could totally set on fire.

  4. Cheryl Says:

    You didn’t deliver a baby while you were at it? That would have been the strong/sensitive/Doogie-esque thing to do. And don’t tell me that you were on a stuck elevator where no one was in labor. I just wouldn’t buy it.

  5. jackt Says:

    Hulk! Smash! Rock!
    Jen! Smash! Hulk!

  6. jenny Says:

    Cheryl: Well, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I actually gave birth while prying open the doors. I just didn’t want you guys to think I was trying to jump on the “mommy blogger” bandwagon.
    jackt: EXACTLY! I was totally embarrassed, though, when I got off the elevator w/ no shirt and shredded pants.

  7. Jessica Says:

    Well, Jenny, I am so impressed! Next time I’m in Chicago, can I feel your muscles?

  8. teahouseblossom Says:

    That is my worst nightmare..getting trapped in an elevator. I get claustrophobic just thinking about it!

  9. Anonymous Says:

    Dear Jenny,
    You’re my hero.

  10. Tracy Lynn Says:

    Dude, you are like the She-Ra of Chicago. Break some heads!

  11. Sarah Says:

    I’m in.
    From one testosterone-laden girl to another. ;-)

  12. sween Says:

    Reading this has emasculated me. I hope you can live with that, Jenny.

  13. Kevin Says:

    Must be all the rotisserie chickens in the juice bar.

  14. jill Says:

    You. . . what?!?!

  15. Fiorello La Guardia Says:

    Your mother would be sooooo proud!
    But….not surprised!

  16. steph Says:

    wow. go you! you show that elevator whos boss!

  17. jenny Says:

    jess: Well, if I don’t haul my butt to the gym soon, there won’t be anything left to feel!
    THB: Me too! Luckily, one woman had a sandwich and drink, so I could’ve wrestled it from her arms if we were stuck long.
    Viv: Oh, go on. No really… go on. ;)
    Tracy Lynn: That’s me – crackin’ skulls and takin’ names.
    Sarah: Awesome! You’re totally in my gang!
    Sween: Let me revise my earlier comment: That’s me – crackin’ skulls and emasculatin’ men!
    Kevin: No – they discontinued the chicken due to health concerns!
    jill: Sorry – it’s time you knew. I killed a man once just to see him die.
    Fio: You’re probably right, because she was real proud of me when I went into a burning building to save them orphans. No wait… that was Ponyboy.
    Steph: Damn straight. Elevator thinks it can tell me what to do. You just move up and down, stupid elevator! You can’t even go sideways! LAME!

  18. sandra Says:

    Jenny, you’re…like…a superhero. I bow to you.

  19. Christie Says:

    Go Jenny, Go Jenny, Go go go Jenny!!!

  20. jenny Says:

    sandra: KNEEL BEFORE ZOD! (okay, I think I just blew any ounce of street cred I had earned by quoting Superman II. dammit! now I have to start all over again…)
    christie: are you trying to get into my breakdance crew with those mad rappin’ skillz of yours?

  21. kb Says:

    you get trapped more than any person i know. do i need to bring up the basement incident from a couple months ago? where were your big guns then?

  22. Fitena Says:

    The whole blogsphre can’t possibly be all funny? Seems like its the case today. Am laughing wherever I blog! This is good. Made it up, didn’t you? lol!
    PS: can’t wait for tomorrow!

  23. jenny Says:

    kb: I prefer to think that I escape more than anyone you know. And in the basement, I was reserving my big guns in case my big lungs didn’t save me. Fortunately, they did.
    Fitena: Thanks for stopping by – and no, this entry would fall into the non-fiction category, filed under “adventure.” See you at the carnival!

  24. amanda Says:

    nice work. you have every reason to feel empowered. sometimes we need to just take matters into our own hands!! ROAR!

  25. egan Says:

    Are you on “The Juice” Jen?

  26. ms. sizzle Says:


  27. allison Says:

    Don’t break a nail!
    Oh. Wait. That’s kinda’ not in the same vein…is it?

  28. jenny Says:

    amanda: Grrr!
    egan: well, that would explain my bad skin and uncontrollable rage.
    sizz: booo-yah!
    allison: no, you’re right. even a hulking brute like me should be concerned with appearances.

  29. elle Says:

    Ata boy…*punches ya in the arm*