I’m just wondering…

What would you do if you came home from work and found that the floor of the back stairway leading to your apartment had just been painted, and your front door was deadbolted shut from the inside?
I think I would probably go back to my car, pull two grocery bags out of my trunk, and tie them tightly around my nice work shoes, thinking that plastic wouldn’t stick to the paint as much.
In this case, I would be wrong. Dead wrong.
As a Plan B, I might want to walk up to my neighbors’ doors in the bagshoes, so that no one could trace the bagprints back to my apartment.
That’s what I think.

17 Responses to “I’m just wondering…”

  1. sandra Says:

    How about c) All of the above?

  2. jenny Says:

    That’s why I like you, Sandra. Although, I think you would’ve looked a lot cooler in the bag shoes than I did. I mean… than I… would have looked… if this were a true story.

  3. Jessica Says:


  4. elle Says:

    Definitely need pics of bag shoes. Definitely. Just one question… Where there groceries in the bags?

  5. Tracy Lynn Says:

    That’s a very interesting hypothetical you have there, Jen. If it were me in that interesting hypothetical, I would also make sure the bagshoes were thrown away in such a manner as to not be traced back to me. Hypothetically speaking.

  6. jill Says:

    Oh, I’d throw the blame back on the super or landlord or whomever. “I WASN’T INFORMED!” I’d rant and rail, even if I had been. “There were no signs!” I’d scream, “No flyer in my mailbox! Oh. There were? Yeah, well, I recently went temporarily BLIND and couldn’t READ your stupid flyers. Did you ever think of the BLIND?! Of the TEMPORARILY blind?! I ruined my SHOES in your stupid paint. My groceries were homeless. You OWE me new SHOES! And GROCERIES! AND EYES!” Something like that.
    (That said, Oh Jenny, thanks for the morning laugh.)

  7. Natasha Says:

    Let me get this straight. Wearing gym shoes to walk to work=Bad. Flip Flips=Bad Plastic grocery bags booties=Good.

  8. Justin24601 Says:

    damn good plan

  9. Dustin Says:

    Good call with the leading of the foot prints to another door. Who paints stairs though?

  10. ms. sizzle Says:

    you are a good thinker.

  11. jenny Says:

    elle: Are you kidding? No pics! Must destroy all evidence!
    Tracy Lynn: We’re on the same wavelength, sister.
    jill: How come you weren’t inside my head this morning when my landlord called? I lost my only opportunity to get all pissy! Now I’ve fallen into the tangled web of lies and deceit.
    Nat: No, bag shoes are never good. Sometimes they are a necessary evil.
    Justin: It’s really not a good plan, but I appreciate your support. I think I would make a really bad criminal.
    Dustin: NO KIDDING! With oil paints no less! They’ll be wet until mid August!
    Sizz: See, but I’m not – that’s just it! I was okay on the planning stage, but fell short on the execution. It’s going to blow up in my face shortly…

  12. teahouseblossom Says:

    Hahahaha, yeah I’d totally try to incriminate my neighbors, by walking up to their apt, then walking backwards and retracing my steps to mine.
    I hope it worked!

  13. Mocha Says:

    Would you “Remember Me?” already, damnit!
    I’m going to need pictures of these bag shoes. Move over, Prada.

  14. jenny Says:

    THB: Hey – aren’t you a lawyer? I might need you to help me beat this charge. I WAS FRAMED!
    Mocha: You’re too new around these parts to know that the broken “Remember Me” function is the albatross around my neck, the burn in my belly that grows each time someone mentions it, the reminder of my constant failure as a blogger. A certain blogger whose name I won’t mention *coughsharicough* likes to taunt me on a regular basis about this. I know you’d never be that cruel…
    As for the bag shoes, I may be able to recreate the scene. Hang tight! :)

  15. shari Says:

    I’ve tried twice to comment on this post, but have been thwarted each time. Wow! I guess third time IS the charm eh? Not only am I finally commenting, but I got to use the word “thwarted” too! (However, I note with wry dismay, that I no longer can come up with anything even remotely related to the subject matter of the post itself, and accordingly, apologize sincerely.)

  16. Roy Says:

    You know what I’ve noticed? People with compulsive behavior and lack of inhibitions always have the best stories!
    Don’t ever change, Jenny.

  17. Erik Says:

    holy crap! (but i think i probably would have done the same thing.) (sadly.)