I’m not proud, I’m just saying

[WARNING! totally irrelevant yet cute photo ahead]
For the first time in my life, and for reasons I can only explain as a dizzying combination of thirst and laziness, I drank straight out of the milk gallon (half-gallon) yesterday. And then wiped my mouth on my sleeve.
I suppose now the only thing left for me to do is learn how to make rude noises with my armpit in order for my transformation to teen boy to be complete.

19 Responses to “I’m not proud, I’m just saying”

  1. margaret Says:

    A good butt scratch would work here too.

  2. Peggasus Says:

    Don’t forget to pick your nose either. That’s key.

  3. heather anne Says:

    Drinking from the milk jug gets a bad rap. First of all it is more efficient that going to the cabinet, getting out a cup, pouring the milk, taking the jug back to the fridge, putting it in, closing the door AGAIN, and walking back over to your cup of milk. Plus you don’t have to wash any dishes, which saves water and makes the environment better. Drink on, Jenny! Drink on!

  4. communicatrix Says:

    Gaaaah! You forgot the belch!

  5. shari Says:

    OK, am I the only one who has noticed that for Jenny to become any kind of boy she’d need surgery? Geez Jen, let’s start with content and THEN move to form, shall we?

  6. nina Says:

    Blow nose out onto the road, start each morning with a hearty fart and quit talking about feelings. In fact, quit talking.

  7. Tracy Lynn Says:

    Dude, I have three brothers. I can TOTALLY show you how to do the armpit noise.

  8. jenny Says:

    margaret: NEVER!
    peggasus: Let me repeat – NEVER! :)
    heather anne: Wow – so I’m actually being an environmentalist by drinking from the milk carton. Nice!
    communicatrix: NEVER! Okay, wait. Maybe I could swing that one.
    shari: Don’t you get it, Shari? Teen boy is a state of mind. We can all be teen boys if we want to be!
    Nina: Ah, the ever-classy farmer blow. I saw that happen once in the Loop. It was a man in a suit, and I almost vomited right on his briefcase.
    Tracy Lynn: Man… my brother didn’t teach me nothin’!

  9. the_editter Says:

    You also need to practise and perfect a self-congratulatory show-offy pose (perhaps involving winking/nodding/muscles/a slap on your own butt) that you go into immediately following a belch or fart. I think you’re aiming too high with teen boy, our just-7 year old does all these things.

  10. Arwen Says:

    Was it milk or chocolate milk? I drink right out of the chocolate milk container because it is bad for me anyway. All bets are off with junk food.

  11. Mad William Says:

    Be proud, you have taken a big step.
    But more important. Who’s the dog?

  12. jenny Says:

    the editter: I wink and slap my butt pretty much any time I walk past a mirror. ;)
    Arwen: Skim milk, plain. Maybe I need to start drinking chocolate milk?
    William: Thanks for the vote of confidence! And that is one of the many dogs I photographed at the beach a couple weeks ago (none of whom belong to me).

  13. ms. sizzle Says:

    had you just eaten a giant cookie?

  14. egan Says:

    If you could create a nice loogie and spit it on a ceiling where it hangs like a stalagtite, the transformation would be even more legitimate.

  15. sandra Says:

    I’ve been living alone for less than a week and I’ve already done that…! I hate to think of what I’ll be up to in a month.

  16. Abigail Says:

    My thirst and laziness usually drive me to whatever glass is closest, usually resulting in three-day-old flat coke or a glass with an inch of rum at the bottom.

  17. Jessica Says:

    Jen, if you’re really dedicated to this transformation, I can offer my son for study purposes…..
    When the box with lots of holes in it arrives, open quickly – he’ll be hungry.

  18. Jessica Says:

    It occured to me that someone might take my previous comment seriously – I was only kidding….there won’t be any holes.

  19. Pants Says:

    I’ve always wished I could make noises with my armpit.