Jenny’s Diet Tips
Quickest way to lose those holiday pounds = three plus days of the stomach flu
Hey, I never said it was the best way. Just the quickest.
The only thing that can calm me belly is a classic example of whore eyes:
Filed under: General on January 8th, 2007
January 8th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
I like that diet asit requires no will-power. feel better soon
January 8th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
i’m all about quick. sign me up.
feel better soon.
January 8th, 2007 at 9:55 pm
Ugh, sorry you’ve been feeling so cruddy.
Like you need to lose weight, anyways.
January 8th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
So looking surprised is integral to the whore eyes? Otherwise I’ve got to shave mine off and draw them on from scratch. At least that way I could be sure they wouldn’t match my hair color.
I hope you’re feeling better soon!
January 9th, 2007 at 7:07 am
margaret: Yes, the no-will power factor is one of this diet’s greatest features. You can eat anything you want. Just not for very long.
kat: I will come over to your house and lick all your doorknobs for the low, low price of $19.95 (plus airfare and accommodations).
karl: Thanks, my man. Most of my holiday weight came in the form of wine this year…
claire: Good point on the surprised expression – I think these are maybe new whore eyes. They thought they were coming to Chicago to become actresses.
January 9th, 2007 at 7:33 am
Dude, that sucks. Do you think it could have something to do with all the cocktail weiners? Because, frankly, I just don’t trust canned meat.
January 9th, 2007 at 8:48 am
Serious illness has always been vastly underrated as a viable weight loss plan. I hope you’re feeling fat and sassy soon.
Or svelte and moody. Just get better.
January 9th, 2007 at 9:19 am
I’m more into tapeworms myself…
January 9th, 2007 at 9:20 am
Where can I get me some of that stomach flu?
January 9th, 2007 at 9:32 am
i hope you are feeing better!
i love me some good whore eyes.
January 9th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Oh, I’m sorry. Feel better.
January 9th, 2007 at 11:06 am
Isn’t that the follow up song to “Betty Davis Eyes?”
Hope you’re feeling better….
January 9th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Ok…how much weight are we talking here? 10lbs? that might be worth 3 days of a flu….15lbs, i’m up for 5 days, how about you?
20lbs for a full week – absolutely.
Summer will be here before you know it and I need to get into that speedo!
January 9th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Tracy Lynn: Bite your tongue! Cocktail franks are like manna from heaven!
Roy: Thanks – I’m on the road back to fat & sassy!
Sandra: See… I’m not so sure about that. Because how do you lose weight w/ a tapeworm? Don’t the tapeworms just start to get fat inside you?
r: Train stations, cruise ships, public bathroom door handles – you name it!
sizzle: They really are the cure all, aren’t they?
Heather Anne: Thanks – I’m starting to feel more like myself again.
Neil: Yes, that’s the uncensored version.
Heath: Nope, I topped off at 6 lbs, but that will all come right back within a day or so of normal eating, I’m sure!
January 10th, 2007 at 12:05 am
Tape worms worked for Maria Callas, so they say. Maybe it’s all the pictures of whore eyes that are really making you sick and it’s not the stomach flu at all…
January 10th, 2007 at 6:19 am
Yes, feel better! I had stomach flu over Christmas, and it SUCKED not being able to eat all of my favorite foods.
January 10th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
I have another suggestion to add: Fondue on New Year’s Eve and, despite your best efforts, find a way to cross contaminate the raw food with your cooked food. Wait approximately four hours, wake up in the middle of the night, and IF YOU ARE LUCKY you’ll make it to the bathroom on time.
Hope you get to feeling better.
January 11th, 2007 at 9:48 am
pretty.
hope your tummy is calmed.