Opinion Poll: Katzenjammer Kids
This week, I’m flying out to my Pacific Northwest home-away-from-home for work, and as soon as I get back, I’m heading back up to my cabin-away-from-home again with Dee-Dee, Nat, and a whole assortment of other characters to celebrate Natasha’s birthday.
Throughout the course of these two trips, I hope that I will encounter much drinking, karaoke, fishing, mystery, and intrigue. But in the meantime, I have an enormous favor to ask. Since the introduction of Pickles the Cat into my family, my other two cats – Kodo and Podo – have become insanely jealous. Today, one of them chewed off the shoelaces to my running shoes and another one vomited on my kitchen counter. Now that I think about it, those two events might have been related.
I think they’re just crying out for attention, and I know Dr. Spock would tell me to not reinforce their bad behavior, but he’s dead and I’m alive, and ain’t nothing gonna change that.
When I try to think back to when their outbursts began, it was actually long before Pickle’s arrival. I kind of think it started when I changed their names from Mr. Lionel Richie and Ms. Dionne Warwick to Kodo and Podo. Maybe they liked the flash… I’m not sure. It’s not like they ever sing. But whatever.
So I figure it’s probably time to change their names again, and that’s where you come in. I’ve got a few options below, but am really open to new ideas. As with the last time we did this, here’s a brief bio on each of them:
Boy Cat:
Height: 14”
Weight: 13 lbs
Eyes: Blue
Age: 7 years
Sign: Taurus
Best Feature: Prominent nose
Likes: Trying to escape out the back door, sitting in window plotting escape route, medicinal catnip (for glaucoma), napping, attacking his sister, eating shoelaces, looking at spiders but never actually doing anything about them
Dislikes: Not being able to escape, collars, showers, hats of any sort, being placed underneath the laundry basket
Girl Cat:
Height: 12”
Weight: 10 lbs
Eyes: Blue
Age: 7 years
Sign: Taurus
Best Feature: Pearly white teeth
Likes: Apples, screaming, pacing in circles, eating plastic grocery bags, licking yogurt cartons, napping, stretching, feathers
Dislikes: Vacuum cleaners, ironing boards being opened, collars, bonnets, dishtowels tied around neck like a cape, manicures
So dear friends, please help me.
Q: What should I name my cats?
a) Komodo and Pagoda
b) Puff and Stuff
c) Barack and Hillary
d) Donnie and Marie
e) Bootsie and Mittens
f) Fat Boy and Little Girl
g) Other (please explain)
Filed under: Opinion Poll on September 17th, 2007
September 16th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
I like ‘girl cat’ and ‘boy cat’.
It’s simple and easy to remember.
Only gets confusing if one of them wants gender reassignment.
September 16th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
We’ve swapped places! You’re on the west coast, I’m in Chicago. Should I drop in and check on the cats?
Personally, I’m thinking that they need more heroic names in order to feel better about themselves… how about “Zan and Jayna” – THE WONDER TWINS!!! And you new ceramic cat can be Gleek. Since Gleek was just an annoying alien monkey, this should give your cats a (rightful) superiority complex.
September 16th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
I like Donnie and Marie, because she’s a little bit country and he’s a little bit rock and roll.
September 16th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Well, if they like to sing, than I’d have to go with Donnie and Marie….
However, that might mean that you’d wind up with a whole mess of kittens. In nice shirts and ties.
September 17th, 2007 at 6:52 am
I think you should name them Stiller and Mira. They look like comedians in their little costumes.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:34 am
How about Drunky McStinksalot for the dude who freebases catnip (medicinally, of course) and doesn’t bathe, and Tara Reid for the screaming yogurt licker?
Puff and Stuff would work, too, I guess.
And y’know, I didn’t need the mental picture of Hillary licking the inside of a yogurt container.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:34 am
How about Drunky McStinksalot for the dude who freebases catnip (medicinally, of course) and doesn’t bathe, and Tara Reid for the screaming yogurt licker?
Puff and Stuff would work, too, I guess.
And y’know, I didn’t need the mental picture of Hillary licking the inside of a yogurt container.
September 17th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
I suggest “Meatloaf” and “Karaoke”, (“Meaty” and “Kara” for short). Hey, cut me some slack… I’m still broken-hearted over not being in Portland this week.
September 17th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
Are you familiar with the Filipino Name Generator? I ran Kodo and Podo Amadeo through it and came up with the lyrical, Philippines-inspired names Paolo Mayaman Maliito Ampalayon and Isidora Xalbadora Maggie Ragadio.
September 17th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
How about Nick and Nora…
How about Nelson and Jeannette…
How about Bogart and Bacall…
How about Tony and Carmella….
September 18th, 2007 at 9:03 am
jacki: well, girl cat does like to push the gender lines every so often…
dave2: ooh! i loved zan and jayna. form of… a scratching post!
churlita: excellent point. he is kind of a badass.
adena: mormon kittens. just what i need.
strode: you should see them when i put them in their bunny suits!
sir: but if i name girl cat tara reid, then i’ll have to listen to her whine about her botched plastic surgery.
shari: ::sniff:: would it make you feel any better if i named them both shari? “shari! stop eating that plastic bag! shari! did you throw up in my shoe?”
cheryl: you know, you are just the right amount of weird. i like that.:)
fiorello: ok, i got all of those except nelson and jeannette. must be some black & white movie…
September 18th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
I’m pretty sure that Nelson and Jeanette is either an I Dream Of Jeanie Reference or a Laurence Welk reference.
I vote for Spider and Fly.
September 18th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
“Chop” and “Stick”?? :::sniff:::
September 19th, 2007 at 8:58 am
Sorry – I know that I’m really going waaaay back in the TCM archives re: Nelson and Jeannette
It’s Nelson Eddy and Jeannette McDonald from those adorable, schmaltzy musicals in the 30’s and 40’s.
If you play this clip, start it at about the middle to hear the duet.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
I vote for either Clint Eastwood and Debbie Reynolds, or Soup and Sandwich. There is no explanation.
September 19th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
Dear Jenny,
How about Leroy and Coco.
For a little FAME nostalgia.
Or maybe that’s just me?
Love,
Vivian
September 20th, 2007 at 6:56 am
I’d like to vote for Donnie and Marie please, my alternative suggestion is Keyser and Soze, cos then you could call them in a menacing voice.
September 21st, 2007 at 12:04 am
tracy lynn: spider and fly actually has a nice ring to it. i’m not sure who’s the spider and who’s the fly, though.
shari: you were in our thoughts all evening, if that’s any consolation…
fiorello: yeah, that’s definitely way back in the archives. and me with no turner classic movies!
roy: no explanation required.
vivian: well, boy cat is pretty rebellious like leroy, and girl cat has some lungs on her. hmm. let me think on that.
serap: another vote for donnie and marie? interesting. but what if they start getting all preachy on me?