Team Fat Pad
It’s been bothering me ever since I saw the doctor last month. I guess it’s one thing to know something in your heart, and it’s entirely another to hear it uttered from the mouth of a medical professional.
But there it is – I can’t deny it any longer. My cat is not big boned. He’s not a growing boy. He doesn’t just have a lot of skin. Medically speaking, he has a fat pad that almost drags to the ground. In a nutshell, he’s obese, and I need to do something about it.
When I went to the pet store the next day looking for some new toys and diet food, the overly eager 25-year old “pet consultant” gave me a pursed frown and lectured me that no matter how many times my cat begged me for more food, no matter how much he cried, I would have to remain strong for his sake.
“It’s not your fault, you know. You were just doing what you thought was right. You just love him too much.”
I wanted to tell him that I didn’t feed my cat whenever he begged; I fed him exactly what it said to feed him on the back of the cat food bag, which my vet just informed me is twice as much as a cat should eat. I wanted to tell him that I knew it wasn’t my fault, it was Iams’.
And I wanted to tell him that I didn’t come there for his psychobabble reverse guilt trip bullshit. I came there for some low-cal food and a plastic stick with some feathers on the end. And maybe that laser pointer.
But instead, I just nodded my silent confession.
As I shared my story with some friends this past week, I looked across the table and recognized that same look of guilt on Asia’s face.
“My cat is fat, too. I need to put her on a diet, but she’s already been eating diet food for the past two years.”
“I know – it’s just really hard with cats. They don’t want to do anything. How do you even get a cat to exercise?”
As we sipped our drinks, an idea suddenly struck us. What our cats needed was motivation. They needed a reason to exercise, a reason to get fit. What they needed was the American dream: a bitter competition, with the promise of moderate celebrity and personal financial gain in the end.
And thus, the idea was born: Biggest Loser Feline Edition™
The rules are simple – we have three months to get our cats into shape through a healthy diet and strict exercise regimen. No diet pills or gastric bypass surgeries are allowed. The cat with the highest percentage of body weight lost will win.
So what does the Biggest Loser win?
1. Certificate of Achievement
2. Catnip mouse
3. $20 gift certificate to Petsmart
4. Bragging rights
5. Cat scarf knitted by the losing team
Clearly a prize package worth competing for.
We will weigh our cats once a week and post photos on Flickr. I’m also taking my cat’s measurements because sometimes it’s not about the pounds, it’s about the inches, and I want him to be able to celebrate his minor successes along the way.
The competition began on March 1st with the official weigh-in and measurements. This is going to be a life-altering three months for our cats, and I felt it was only right that I no longer hide my cat’s identity behind a blog pseudonym. He’s going to need all the support he can get during this challenging time.
Orange Team
Trainer: Jenny
Contestant: Miso
Starting weight: 15.0 lbs
Green Team
Trainer: Asia
Contestant: Willie
Starting weight: 14.2 lbs
After just three days, I can already tell this is going to be an uphill battle. I have feathers, glitter balls, furry mice, lasers and cat tubes, but so far, the only time Miso showed a remote interest in exercise was when I was trying to measure his belly and he ran off with the tape measure.
I see now that being a personal trainer is an enormous responsibility, and it’s all about understanding and adapting to the personality of your clients in order to tap into what will motivate them.
Asia is an accomplished athlete and a fierce competitor, so her approach as a trainer is a bit different than mine. She proposed going the psychological route by leaving Cat Fancy Magazine centerfolds all over her house, as a constant reminder to her cat Willie of what she might one day look like. Personally, I worry that this could trigger a downward spiral into low self-esteem and bulimia brought on by the unattainable standards set by the media, but that’s just me. Looking at this photo stolen from Asia’s Flickr site, Willie doesn’t seem resentful at all, so who am I to argue?
Miso is more cerebral than physical, so I decided that he needed to visualize his progress, which is why I bought him his own personal white board. Here you can see him studying a photo of himself seven years ago, before his weight problems began. We’ve been trying to get at the root of his overeating, and so far, I think it may stem from some early abandonment issues.
[click to enlarge]
I’m not implying that one approach is better than the other, but let’s just say that I’m not worried about knitting cat scarves anytime soon. Go Orange!
Filed under: General on March 5th, 2008 | 18 Comments »
