Some People

People will tell you that it’s not interesting to write about what you ate for dinner, but sometimes you just want to confess that you ate Whoppers and Sour Patch Kids for dinner. Especially when you received the Whoppers and Sour Patch Kids in a mysterious package in the mail.
People will also tell you that you shouldn’t take candy from strangers. People are so dumb. I feel just fine, aside from a severe case of acid reflux.
People should just stop telling us what to do.

20 Responses to “Some People”

  1. You can call me, 'Sir' Says:

    I received Whoppers and Gobstoppers in the mail today. Y’know when the last was that had my gob stopped? Never. Never had ‘em before tonight.
    Oooooooh, sweet mystery of life at last I’ve fooooouuuund yoooooouuuuu.
    The candy fairy is running amok.

  2. You can call me, 'Sir' Says:

    I received Whoppers and Gobstoppers in the mail today. Y’know when the last was that had my gob stopped? Never. Never had ‘em before tonight.
    Oooooooh, sweet mystery of life at last I’ve fooooouuuund yoooooouuuuu.
    The candy fairy is running amok.

  3. jenny Says:

    sir: oh come on – you’re joking, right? you’ve *never* had an everlasting gobstopper? be careful – you could choke on those things! (btw, don’t you love the candy fairies? i sure do!)

  4. vahid Says:

    People really SHOULD stop telling us what to do. A-holes.
    I had a sugar crash from eating all my Whoppers this afternoon. Wasn’t pretty.

  5. Sarah Says:

    Sometimes I wish someone would send me candy in the mail.

  6. natalie Says:

    ooohhhhh…sour patch kids. i love those. i need me a care package!

  7. shari Says:

    Oh Candy-in-the-Mail-Faeries, I love you!! Whoppers! Gobstoppers! Plus, they rhyme!!

  8. Finn Says:

    Want some candy little girl…

  9. Pants Says:

    My favorite dinner is microwave popcorn and frosting.

  10. churlita Says:

    why is everyone getting candy in the mail except me? What have I done wrong?

  11. elise Says:

    You know, it took me until about 5 comments down to figure out that you hadn’t just received a Whopper in the mail. As in, from Burger King, the hamburger. I was going to wonder how all you suffered was some reflux after consuming air-mailed, mayo-slathered beef.

  12. Fiorello la Guardia Says:

    WHAT? You ate a hamburger that came to you in the mail? For cryin’ out loud…how long had that mayo-covered beef pattie been sitting in the Chicago post office? Gaaaak! I think that you should sue Burger King….RIGHT NOW!
    ;)

  13. brandon Says:

    oh come on! no one is going to go for the easy ‘ass reflux’ joke??? it’s killing me!

  14. jenny Says:

    vahid: i had forgotten how much i liked them. they kind of burn the roof of your mouth with their malted goodness.
    sarah: it’s a great feeling – everyone should have a candy fairy.
    natalie: d’oh! if i hadn’t eaten them all in one sitting, i could’ve shared.
    shari: you got gobstoppers, too? they must not have trusted me with jawbreakers. they were probably right.
    finn: YES! wait, i mean NO! ::runs away from van::
    pants: hold on… popcorn and frosting? what kind of frosting? how do you eat it? do you spread it on each kernel, or just eat a mouthful of popcorn and a mouthful of frosting?
    churlita: we were all sworn to secrecy until these candy fairies give us further instructions.
    elise: LOL – i forgot that there was another kind of whopper. nope – these were the malted milk kind. :)
    fiorello: ha – elise just beat you to it! i may eat a lot of crazy things, but i would not eat an anonymous hamburger i had received in the mail. i might eat fries, though.
    brandon: that joke is so funny i’m going to write it down in my diary, uh, yes, my diary, uh.

  15. jewelz916 Says:

    While at the movie theater, I recently made a dinner of SugarBabies, Chewy SweetTarts, and Cinnamon Roasted Pecans. My gastro-intestinal system was not forgiving AT ALL and I suffered mightily for my transgressions. Will it stop me from doing it again? Oh HELLS no!

  16. delmer Says:

    Not only do I want to hear about what you ate, I’m happy to see photos (pre-eaten) of what you ate.

  17. nina Says:

    I’m okay with photos of a general nature, pre-digestion.
    Candy gives you reflux? That sucks. Try dousing it with wine. people say wine gives reflux, but I think that’s an urban legend. Right??

  18. Karl Says:

    People are people, so why should it be?

  19. Poppy Says:

    Holy crap, a lot of people commented.
    I 100% agree with everything you say here, except I don’t care for Whoppers so I’d give them away. :)

  20. jenny Says:

    jewelz: cinnamon roasted pecans? i’ve never tried them! honey roasted, sure, but cinnamon? intriguing.
    delmer: if only i had waited long enough to take a picture – i devoured these treats before i could even sit down.
    nina: most everything gives me reflux, so it’s all relative.
    karl: you and i should get along so awfully.
    poppy: ooh – give me a call if you ever get a box of whoppers in the mail from a stranger. i’m your gal!

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