Q: What’s huge and yellow and goes “sploosh?”

A: 30,000 rubber ducks being dumped into the Chicago River!

no dumping
On Friday, the Windy City Rubber Ducky Derby was held to benefit the Special Olympics. I adopted four ducks, but they didn’t win. Stupid loser ducks.
30,000 ducks behind bars
When I first heard about the event, I wondered, “Hey! The Chicago River is really slow. How the heck are those ducks going to make their way across the finish line?”
The answer? The Chicago Fire Department, of course. Let’s hope there were no barge fires while this race was going on, because all the fire boats were otherwise occupied squirting at a bunch of rubber duckies.
Fire Dept lends a hand
And by the way, did you even know we had fire boats? I sure didn’t. Sometimes they like to just shoot straight into the air. Show offs.
fire dept
Next year, I’m not taking any chances. I’m going to make my own special rocket ducks and toss them into the water while everyone is distracted by the excessive display of aquatic firefighter virility. Then when I win First, Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth prizes, the whole city will finally know my name and give me the respect I deserve. I will so totally own the Rubber Ducky Derby. OWN IT!

16 Responses to “Megaducks”

  1. Greeneyezz Says:

    How very cool!!!
    That’s a lot of Ducks! Wow!
    You also took some nice pics of it too.

  2. dave2 Says:


  3. Dave Says:

    Didn’t you just want to jump in a swim with them?? (it being the Chicago River not withstanding)

  4. Pants Says:

    Next year you take those rubber duckies and make them your bitch!

  5. delmer Says:

    It’s no wonder the ducks were slow movers. They’re too-cool-for-school ducks. Look at the shades they’re wearing. The needed to dump some nerd ducks in there.

  6. shari Says:

    I’m pretty sure the pink duck would have kicked all their yellow rubber asses.
    Wow, that sounds bad.

  7. You can call me, 'Sir' Says:

    Evidently, the ducks are too cool for school, what with their sunglasses and laid-back attitude to movement without fire-hose action.

  8. You can call me, 'Sir' Says:

    Evidently, the ducks are too cool for school, what with their sunglasses and laid-back attitude to movement without fire-hose action.

  9. Tracy Lynn Says:

    That was DUCKTASTIC!
    Yeah, I couldn’t help myself.

  10. churlita Says:

    Stupid loser ducks. next year you’ll definitely have to trade them in for turbo ones.

  11. serap Says:

    Jen, do you think your ducks were staying near the back on purpose, so they could be nearer the firefighters? I do.

  12. martymankins Says:

    I would love to see that event live someday. I’ve heard about it for years and think it’s cool, but of course, only when you have those rocket ducks.

  13. New Age Bitch Says:

    The ducks are recycled, right?

  14. Poppy Says:

    WOW, that’s AWESOME!!!

  15. kapgar Says:

    That is so awesome! I wish I was there to see it all. A bit more impressive than the meager duck race in Naperville last year.

  16. jenny Says:

    wow… how did i totally forget to comment on this entry?
    ZZ: thanks! i wish more of my photos had turned out – it was so crazy!
    dave2: NOT an epic FAIL!
    dave: it was tempting, believe me! but the four police boats changed my mind.
    pants: you know i will!
    delmer: it’s so true – nerd ducks would’ve figured out the exact location to sit in so the firehose would’ve applied maximum velocity, shooting them into the finish line.
    shari: how cool would that have been if i had tossed in my Canardie? in your faces, yellow ducks!
    sir: they’re young. they’ll learn. you can only get so far in life with that devil-may-care attitude.
    tracy lynn: no ducking way did you just say that!
    churlita: i will win this thing next year!
    serap: it’s a good theory… they were pretty impressive. :)
    marty: it was a lot of fun, but will be much better when i win next year.
    NAB: some of them looked pretty beat up, so i’ve got to believe they are.
    poppy: isn’t it nuts? very fun event!
    kapgar: there was one in naperville, too? it’s really a funny idea – makes for great photos.

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