Some of you may recall a rough patch I hit earlier this year when, in a span of just two months, a) my apartment was burglarized, b) my dad smashed into my car, c) my storage facility forged one of my checks, and d) half my hard drive on my work laptop was deleted.
Needless to say, I was a bit concerned this morning when I turned on my laptop at work and was met with a blue screen and some sort of FATAL DISK ERROR message, prompting me to scan my hard drive for viruses and/or replace it. I just had it replaced two months ago. Are my hands made of acid? Is it my magnetic personality? Why do I destroy all that I touch? Which one of you gypsy mofos has some sort of grudge against me?
I had to leave the office this afternoon for an off-site meeting, so I don’t yet know if the PC/LAN gods were able to retrieve any of my files from my now corrupt hard drive. I may walk in tomorrow with a clean slate. A fresh, shiny, like-new rehabbed computer sitting on my desk. One that does not contain any of the three thousand files I need in order to complete the nine thousand projects I am currently working on.
Like the trooper that I am, I’m going to look at this as an opportunity. I won’t let the possibility of having to rebuild my entire career from scratch get me down. As my momma always told me, “Jenny, when life hands you lemons, wait until it’s asleep and hit it over the head with a frying pan.”
I never totally understood what she meant by this, but it did teach me the importance of having a lock on the inside of a bedroom door.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I will sleep with the entire IT department of my company if they are able to retrieve even 50% of my hard drive. And that’s got to be worth something these days.
Hard drive retrieved intact! And I didn’t even have to sleep with the entire IT Department! (Come to think of it, perhaps it was this threat alone that made them leap into action.) I did, however, have to make a slightly different commitment as payment for services rendered. On that note, does anyone know where I can get an Uhura costume? Seems I’m accompanying some folks to a Star Trek convention next month.

18 Responses to “Why?”

  1. Jessica Says:

    Jenny, my husband does computer work and network consulting. If your IT guys can’t work out an *ahem* “arrangement”, my husband would totally be willing to barter sex for the repair of your machine.

  2. jaymarie Says:

    as i heard my sweet three year old daughter say when she was playing on nickjr. online and something went, i dunno – ‘wrong’ would be my guess, “Suckity Suck Suck Suck Suck Sucks.”
    …that isn’t advice you know, just empathy.

  3. Robert Says:

    Give me your snail mail address. I’m sending you a freaking thumb drive!
    You have got some serious bad computer mojo.

  4. Jenny Says:

    J1: Wow – what a generous offer! That’s so cool that he’s willing to sleep with my IT guys to help me out! I’ll let you know what they say…

    J2: Hmm. That is almost exactly what I said, except it didn’t start with “s.”

    R: Thumb drive? Now you’re just making fun of me. Even I know that thumbs can’t drive!

  5. Kevin Says:

    Oh no, they suckered you into a Trek Con? I’m so sorry. Geek though I may be, I can proudly say I’ve never been to one of those. Although the photographer in me is morbidly curious.

  6. Rich Says:

    Trek Con vs it staff sex … you may be better off sleeping with the it guys.

  7. shari Says:

    You’re going to have to succomb to the flat-iron for Uhura’s hair. An maybe go for ho-eyes too. Aagh, the humanity….

  8. asia Says:

    I breathe a sigh of relief for you. I keep wondering if I am ever going to learn the back up your files lessson. After each wipe out I am lulled back into a sense of security.
    I was at a bus stop once when a trekkie scanned me with his spaceage instrumentation and decided I was a valid life form before he started talking to me in a Klingon/English pidgin. Woah! Have fun chica!

  9. romy Says:

    hey, it could be worse than a trek con. AND at least you don’t have to go as counselor troi. uhura got to wear those sexy white vinyl boots that made even nancy sinatra jealous.
    have fun getting your geek on. :)

  10. Stick Says:

    I remember when my last employer gave me a shitty computer. I would wake up, turn it on, and it was ready to go by the time I arrived at the office.
    And then I resigned. Dropped the laptop off my second story balcony into the rocks below. Fedex’d it back First Overnight. And went to work for their sister division.
    I guess what I’m trying to say is, Fuck it. IT guys need a warm body sometimes too.

  11. Couch Says:

    I’ve had four computers crash in the past four months. Had anyone been able to fix them, they and all of their family and friends would have received all the free sex and donuts they could have tolerated. Hey, everyone loves donuts.

  12. ME Strauss Says:

    I got interested in your post because I think I lived the same few months earlier this year that you did. Had I known there was a Star Trek Convention at the end I might have reconsidered. I’m with the rest. Risk you job, go for the sex.

  13. allison Says:

    I always say – when live gives you lemons…

  14. teahouseblossom Says:

    You could always dress as Counselor Deanna Troi if the Uhura thing doesn’t work out. Or shave your head and go as Captain Jean Luc Piard.

  15. TCho Says:

    Wow. I really admire your resolve.

  16. Janet Says:

    I don’t recall your difficult times, but I think I’m excused anyhow because I wasn’t around the first time you wrote about them. In fact, I think this is the first time I’ve ever been here. Otherwise I’d remember this cool design.:)
    Oh and I feel your pain about computer woes. There’s a saying for this: “You don’t know what you got till it’s gone”. In this case, never have truer words been spoken.

  17. ManNMotion Says:

    wow, I wish I could help you out just to show you that you don’t need to take such drastic measures like getting into the middle of your friend’s marriage when she’s having an off night and he’s clearly on…. I would have done it for lunch, somehere cheap even. This is my worst professional nightmare.

  18. Dean Says:

    First, your family has a lot of strange sayings. Do you know this?
    Second, I hope you really do go the the Trek conventon. I can’ wait to read THAT post.