And Now, A Message From Sally Struthers

For less than the cost of a cup of coffee a day, you could help Mr. Lionel Richie get the prosthetic arms and legs he needs so that he can live a normal cat life. Won’t you please open your hearts and your wallets?
Miss Dionne Warwick, however, is a lost cause. You really have to want to be helped.

22 Responses to “And Now, A Message From Sally Struthers”

  1. brandon Says:

    i just opened my wallet, but sadly no prosthetic cat limbs were to be found. could either of your deformed animals use, say, a mapquest print out of directions to The Sports Authority?
    oh, i guess probably not. awkward.

  2. Dustin Says:

    If I donate do I get monthly updates including pictures and written letters from my orph…cat?

  3. Karen Says:

    That’s not a cat. It’s a potato with some freaky growth.

  4. Jessica Says:

    What the hell happened to those innocent furry babies since I left you?!

  5. jenny Says:

    brandon: Oh, what a nice offer! Maybe I’ll bring my cats to Sports Authority so I can buy them some new rollerblades… oh wait. THAT’S RIGHT! THEY DON’T HAVE LEGS. REALLY NICE, BRANDON!
    Dustin: Yes, you’ll receive a personalized letter, as dictated to me, about how they’re doing in school, new friends, hobbies, etc. Give until it hurts.
    Karen: I know – I think I left them under the kitchen sink a little too long.
    Jess: They kept asking, “When’s Jessica coming back? Why does she hate us so much? Is it because I hissed in her face five times in a row?” and then they started gnawing off their own limbs. I hope you can sleep at night.

  6. Bobby Says:

    Even though you don’t see them, those little feets are paddling like the Dickens under the surface. Therefore you should watch this:

  7. ms. sizzle Says:

    i hate to say it but. . .it appears that dionne needs more than sally’s help. possibly a priest to perform an exorcism. look at those red eyes. i think she might be posessed.
    :) sizz
    p.s. i am sure dionne is a lovely kitty. :)

  8. Peggasus Says:

    Yikes! When those pictures popped up first thought it was one of those ‘Do you see two faces or a vase?’ thing.
    Then I thought it was a closeup of a procedure from Dr. 90210.

  9. mrsmogul Says:

    Where is the Sally Struthers cat?

  10. Jessica Says:

    Well, now I know what to get them for Christmas:

  11. jenny Says:

    bobby: I tried to open it, but heard some cat screeching “hello” and had to close the window before my co-workers thought i was insane. i’ll check it out tonight – thanks!
    sizz: no, you were right the first time. she’s possessed!
    peggasus: hmm. sometimes i see an old lady, and sometimes i see a young woman in a hat. what does that mean?
    mrs mogul: she’s in an air-conditioned trailer eating a catered meal.
    jess: would you please get mr. lionel richie three regular legs and one peg leg? I’ve always wanted a pirate cat.

  12. Jessica Says:

    Only if he dons the whole attire:

  13. The Scarlett Says:

    That’s the problem. You get a pet. You love the pet. Next thing you know, your pet is without arms and legs. Prosthetic cat arms and legs (or peg legs) aren’t cheap. Before you know it, you have to have a telethon. You need to throw a benefit gala. You need a celebrity spokesperson.
    This is exactly why I don’t have cats. Too much heartache. It’s a slippery slope and you, my friend, have fallen.

  14. jenny Says:

    jess: as I mentioned to you earlier, I would most certainly need a prosthetic limb after trying to put that pirate hat on my cats. It would not be pretty.
    Scarlett: You’ve hit the nail on the head. They never tell you about the benefit galas when you ooh and ahh over kittens at the Humane Society. And good luck finding a Hollywood celebrity willing to don a gown for a legless cat. Apparently it’s just not a glamorous enough cause. Bastards.

  15. The Scarlett Letters Says:

    Your cats may have no arms or legs. They may have no prosthetic arms or legs. But you, Jenny, have a heart.

  16. number4of5 Says:

    I would be more concerned with their fire red demonic eyes. What evil plan are these legless wonders plotting?

  17. shari Says:

    Um, my kid’s baseball team needs something to use for second base. I don’t suppose your cats would like to volunteer? I mean, even legless cats can do something meaningful for the community at large if they have the volunteer spirit.

  18. Tracy Lynn Says:

    From the look of them, good luck trying to put the prosthetics on, even. They have the look of Kitties Who Consort With Beelzebub, bless their little black hearts. Adorable. I totally pledge.

  19. sween Says:

    I had a witty comment all prepared… and then I saw the newest hedgehog on Cute Overload and lost all language skills. Beh. Sner. Gah.

  20. jenny Says:

    Scarlett: Awww, shucks. :)
    4of5: World domination, plain and simple.
    Shari: And weren’t you the one who called PETA on me for letting my cats devour that little chick? Sheesh.
    Tracy Lynn: Thank you for your pledge. You will receive your personalized letter, pentagram mousepad, and false idols collector’s set in 6-8 weeks.
    Sween: AAAAGHHHHHH! You know how I love the hogs!! I can’t stand it – he’s on a computer! :)

  21. shari Says:

    Hey, Peeple starts with Peeps, okay? And anyway, it was PETP that I alerted. Haven’t they contacted you yet?

  22. Madison Says:

    No thanks, Sally Struthers will most likely eat the arms!