I’m almost 99% certain that my luggage tag is responsible for my frequent full-body cavity searches at airport security gates. There’s still a 1% chance that it’s my ginger perfume.
I’m also almost 99% certain that my recent iTunes purchases are responsible for my unprecedented levels of funk.
I’m Jenny-Jen and me love you long time.
How come every time you come around my London London Bridge wanna go down?
Dirty babe, you see these shackles? Baby, I’m your slave. I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave. It’s just that no one makes me feel this way.
I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that place.
Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Possibly.
Get your sexy on.
Get your sexy on.
Get your sexy on.
Get your sexy on.

22 Responses to “Epiphany”

  1. Dave2 Says:

    Next time try a “biohazard” luggage tag and see where that gets you! :-)

  2. Jessica Says:


  3. margaret Says:

    Pirattitude! It’s my new word, I learned it watching “Wife Swap”.

  4. shari Says:

    I thought you were Squirly-J. Geez, you go through names almost as fast as your cats.

  5. kapgar Says:

    And I’m almost 99% certain this post is the reason you are currently in therapy.

  6. MT Says:

    “London Bridge” twitches my funkometer, but nowhere near to max. I guess I’m old school. Superstition, Flashlight, What I Say…

  7. MT Says:

    Ack! And how could I leave out James Brown?

  8. jenny Says:

    Dave2: Ooh – that would *definitely* get me more than a friendly pat-down.
    Jess: I know… I can hardly keep my hands off myself!
    margaret: Oh, no. You did *not* just admit to watching the wife swap where that pirate family swapped with the hyper organized label-making family, and then they all had to adopt pirate names, and the pirate family had to start throwing out all their old junk, and in the end both families learned from each other. Because there’s no way I would ever admit to having watched that show… oh, wait. Did I just do that? ;)
    shari: Get with the program – Squirly-J is my breakdance name. Jenny-Jen is my hip-hop name. J Diddy is my rapper name. JPac Shakur is my gangsta rap name.
    kapgar: Are you kidding? Pursuing my newfound love for Justin Timberlake is the only thing keeping me OUT of therapy!
    MT: Ooh – Little Stevie Wonder?! I’m with you on that one! But what the heck is Flashlight? Can I get it on iTunes?

  9. sween Says:

    Oh, Ginger-Jen… and here I was assuming I was the one going crazy lately.
    Crazy FUNKY!

  10. egan Says:

    Ha, Crazy is now my ringtone. I love the skull and crossbones on the luggage. You could use a little more flair though. Is there something wrong with therapy?

  11. jenny Says:

    Sween: Yeah, you’re one crazy cookie-eating mother-funkster all right!
    Egan: Awesome ringtone! And I think therapy is wonderful – just not quite as wonderful as the combination of pirate bag tags and Justin Timberlake. :)

  12. MT Says:

    What the heck is Flashlight? OMG. Get thee to a funkery! It’s song 2. Itunes has to have it. Oh, and I don’t think Stevie was little anymore when Superstition was released, but it’s definitely early and predates the forfeiture of his soul to whatever devil he made the deal. I think “Master Blaster (Jammin’)” was about the last we heard from it.

  13. MT Says:

    Here’s big and superstitious Stevie (released 1972).

  14. Jennifer Says:

    This post made me laugh out loud this morning. And later this same morning. And noonish. And mid-afternoon. And, well, now.
    At least you might get a stats spike out of my inexplicable hysteria. Ha!

  15. viscountess of funk Says:

    I love the tag. And I secretly wish I could be Fergie for a day. She’s a poor man’s Gwen Stephanie.

  16. viscountess of funk Says:

    HA! I mean Gwen Stefani.

  17. sandra Says:

    Hmm. So my pornographic luggage tag could be contributing to my body cavity searches?

  18. jenny Says:

    MT: Parliament? Well, why didn’t you say so?! After listening to that clip, I’m totally picturing you dancing around your living room. Shake it! Don’t break it! Took your momma nine months to make it!
    Jennifer: So glad I could assist in your hysteria. And your funkitude. :)
    V of F: Soooo funny that you called her a Gwen ripoff! I was just listening to London Bridge w/ my pal Natasha and she said the exact same thing!
    Sandra: No, that’s just your innate charm. But now I’m curious about that tag…

  19. peefer Says:

    Darn. I never get searched.
    Hey! Where can I get one of those tags?

  20. adena Says:

    My 1 year old son is in LOVE w/ the song “SexyBack”.
    Seriously, a 2 second clip of it can come on tv, and he’ll immediately stop what he’s doing and run to the tv, and just stare, entranced. The last couple of times, he’s attempted to dance.
    It’s the funniest thing ever!

  21. elle Says:

    Add in Beyonce’s Ring the Alarm an you have just identified the last 5 songs on my “recently added” play list. You. Are. Scaring. Me.

  22. Karl Says:

    I think if you spray painted “I’m Da Bomb!” in neon pink on the side of your suitcase, you’d probably get searched even MORE often.