Self Improvement
You know what’s great about this NaBloPoMo write-a-blog-entry-every-day thing? With all these other bloggers churning out nonstop posts, it takes the pressure off of the rest of us, and frees up our time to focus on self-improvement.
Take me, for example. Just this past weekend, I came up with at least three things I’m going to learn in the next year that will help enrich my life and the lives of those around me. I don’t want to give away all my surprises, but I can tell you that the first thing involves sticks and knives.
That’s right, I’m reviving the lost art of whittling.
My friends were a bit skeptical when I first shared my goal, but ultimately they came around.
N: “Whittling is a lost art?”
J: “Sure – I’d put it right up there with quilting.”
F: “If you’re going to be authentic, you really need to call it whittlin’, don’t you?”
J: “Excellent point. Look – these days, everyone is so wrapped up in their iPods and their TiVo and their ham radios that they’ve forgotten how to relax. Can you think of anything more serene than sitting on the back porch in a rocking chair with your basset hound, a big hunk of driftwood, and your grandpaw’s pocket knife? Neighbors walk by, and you tip your hat to them, then turn to the silver bucket next to you and spit out some chaw goo. That’s what it’s all about.”
N: “Okay, I’m writing this down: Jenny’s Christmas list – sharp knife, driftwood, chaw. That about it?”
J: “Well, I don’t have a rocking chair. Or a basset hound. Or a spittoon. But whatever – don’t feel obligated to get it all.”
N: “No, no. You’ll be getting the complete Whittlin’ Kit.”
F: “Can you whittle a flute for Nat?”
J: “I was thinking something more along the lines of a snake. Or a worm. Or something else that’s mostly stick-shaped, and doesn’t require hollowing out.”
So anyway, next year, once I’ve perfected my whittlin’ style, all of my friends should expect to receive hand-crafted original sculptures, lovingly carved by me. Because nothing says, “I care,” like a driftwood caterpillar.
Filed under: General on November 6th, 2006
November 6th, 2006 at 8:10 am
And let’s not forget the wood shavings. Nothing says, “I have put a lot of thought and effort into this gift” like a small pile of kindling.
November 6th, 2006 at 9:23 am
I thought — for a brief, shining moment — that one of your “self-improvement” focus projects was to get your blog to remember me. But a driftwood cigar is nice, too.
November 6th, 2006 at 9:44 am
At first, I read “quilting” as “quitting” and I was like, “You know, quitting really is a lost art. I should help rediscover it.”
November 6th, 2006 at 10:12 am
Dear Jenny,
Whistling may be a lost art too. Maybe you could you be a whistlin while you’re whittlin.
I would like a wood pen thank you.
Love,
Vivian
November 6th, 2006 at 10:44 am
Yeah, don’t even bother learning to hollow stuff out. Everyone knows all the best stuff is solid.
November 6th, 2006 at 11:09 am
sween: Actually, I was kind of worried about what to do with all the shavings. Because in addition to the basset hound and chaw, I also don’t have a back porch.
shari: I was hoping you’d finally forget to remember that. Because trust me, it ain’t happenin’ this year. Or ever, probably. BUT – I will gladly whittle you a ceegar!
heather anne: Oh, I totally *own* the lost art of quitting.
Viv: Does the wood pen have to work? Because that would require hollowing out, which I’ve already determined is beyond my capabilities. I can make you a wood pen that you then dunk into a pot of ink – how’s that?
Tracy Lynn: Exactly! Case in point: chocolate Easter bunnies.
November 6th, 2006 at 11:35 am
Nothin’ says lovin’ like a big hunk of wood. I can’t wait to see your Christmas pictures!
November 6th, 2006 at 11:51 am
or a cucumber painter brown
November 6th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
Hoo, boy! I can’t wait to see pictures of this.
And to those who would buy you a sharp knife, I might also suggest some bandages and antiseptic ointment. Cuz you just never know.
November 6th, 2006 at 2:08 pm
I applaud your attempt to single handedly bring back whittling. I myself am attempting to revive the art of shoe polishing.
November 6th, 2006 at 2:54 pm
I think whittling is a great idea. Make sure to protect your hands with some traditional chain mail gloves though, so you avoid the callouses and blisters – and the chain mail should help deflect the knife blade if you happen to get overly excited.
November 6th, 2006 at 4:16 pm
The sky’s the limit, even without the ability to hollow things out. Driftwood cigars, earthworms, sticks, dowsing wands, earthworms … nematode worms…
November 6th, 2006 at 8:53 pm
Man, I wish I’d signed up for NaBloPoMo instead of NaNoWriMo. Actually, I probably would have successfully written a novel instead of daily blog entries.
ANYWAY, a friend of mine & I had a conversation once about the need to return to life’s simple entertainments. Pre-technology, women gathered to do water color paintings & embroidery. And while knitting circles are coming back, not all of us are knitters. So I vote for the Whittle n’ Bitch–a whittling circle!
November 7th, 2006 at 3:04 am
Jenny, the carving on my blog was my third project. Good luck with the drift, o multitalented one, if you get my wood…
November 7th, 2006 at 8:22 am
I applaud your attempt to single handedly bring back whittling.
Jenny, you never said that. I am impressed! Samurai whittlin’. You ever do any one-armed paper hanging?
November 7th, 2006 at 8:23 am
Me, me, me. That was me. Sorry.
November 7th, 2006 at 9:58 pm
Exxx-cellent! I’m looking forward to seeing close-up mystery photos of your new artwork!!
November 7th, 2006 at 11:35 pm
Chase: I can’t wait to see them either…
Margaret: Also another excellent suggestion!
Mike: What? Are you doubting my mechanical abilities? Pfft.
Dustin: Nothing sexier than some freshly polished shoes.
Erica: Wha-? How did you know I had chain mail? Are you M’Lady10098 from the D&D Chat Room?
Gabe: I’m kinda keen on the nematode worm idea. Just so I can be all, “Uh, duh? No, that’s not an earthworm. It’s a nematode worm. Sheesh.”
Diane: I’m mostly a fan of paint-by-numbers, but I’m always game to try the whittlin’ circle!
piktor: I’m going to need all the luck I can get!
Roy: I’m kind of like a zen whittler. What is the sound of one hand whittling? If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, can you still whittle it? These are the big questions I ask myself every day.
THB: I’m going to start small, but eventually I’ll probably be whittling life-size sculptures of celebrity couples.
November 17th, 2006 at 8:34 pm
You are hilarious. Can I sit in a rocking chair next to you and play ukulele? Some sort of whittling tune?