Premonition
Last night I had a dream that I drowned a complete stranger in a river and got away with it. After consulting a very reputable dream dictionary, I have discovered that this can only mean one of two things:
1. I am so insanely sick of watching political attack ads on TV, that if I see one more “Who will protect our borders?” ad, I will drown a complete stranger in a river.
OR
2. I am so insanely sick of deleting spam comments, that if I find one more comment advertising Ci@Li$ and @Mateur Pr0n, I will drown a complete stranger in a river.
So all I ask is this: a) if I don’t get away with it, please send me cake in prison, and b) if I ever ask you to go for a walk with me down by the river, politely decline.
Filed under: General on November 2nd, 2006
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:12 am
a prison blog might be really good reading
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:31 am
I read on Long Story Short today that they let you blog in prison. Go ahead and drown someone, but make sure they are either an attack-ad campaigner or a spammer. Double points if you find an attack-adder who also spams.
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:56 am
If you are looking for a candidate for drowning, a guy in my city running for state senate has sent me no less than ten giant postcards in the last month, thus earning my wrath but not my vote.
Plus, Jen, you have to believe in your dreams. Didn’t anyone ever tell you that if you can dream it, you can make it happen?
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:01 am
You could have a career as a dream interpreter, Jen. Y’know, if the talent agent for your nephews thing doesn’t work out. Did your dream happen to mention which river it was? Because if it was the Columbia, I think it means that you are going to visit me soon and take care of a few pesky problems for me.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:40 am
By now, I thought you might have confronted me directly about those e-mails. You have such a funny way of asking for things sometimes.
And for the record, I was just trying to recuperate the costs of the research material for my cousin’s Ph.D. in Bio-Kinetics of Human Mating Practices. My cousin who died last month. In a targetted attach by an academic biker gang. They were really mean, you know, and they carried a bat. So have some sympathy for god’s sake, you first stone caster you. Sheesh!
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:40 am
margaret: hmmmm… a prison blog, you say? i might need to investigate this further.
heather anne: i’m totally on the lookout for an attack-adder-spammer!
tracy lynn: i know – isn’t is getting out of control? i can’t wait for next tuesday to be over!
shari: you gots some peoples what needs “persuading?” you just let me know and i’ll take care a ‘dem. no questions axed.
peefer: so sorry to hear about your loss. those canadian academic biker gangs are bad news – i sure hope we get approval for that giant electric fence between canada and the u.s. to protect us from all your riff-raff.
November 2nd, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Hah…you don’t scare me, I live in ST. LOUIS!!!
November 2nd, 2006 at 4:40 pm
I think a prison blog might be worth reading too!
Also, what is up with all the spam lately? I have 100+ each and every time I open up my email. It’s almost like a bunch of people just recently heard that you CAN spam others, and they all decided to try it out. :\
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Ahh…with a name like “Amadeo” I can only hope that you included the cement overshoes when you pushed him in! Make us proud…..
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:03 pm
Or it could mean you watched Lost last night. Maybe I’m off target, but I think not. Confess now, confess.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:40 pm
*whistles idly while crossing “Taking walk with Jenny down by the river” off of “Things to idly daydream about while dreamily gazing through windows” list*
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:16 am
Jess: Oh yeah, I forgot – murder capital of the world!
erica: My theory is that some sucker finally bought something based on a spam email, so now it’s back en vogue.
Fiorello: He sleeps with the fishes.
egan: Wait – did someone get drowned on Lost? I did watch part of it – but only saw the part where Eko was getting slammed into a tree. Did my subconscious watch the rest of the episode?
Darby: Oh, Darby. No need to be afraid. I’d never hurt you. It’s just… sometimes I just lose my temper, you know?
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:10 am
That’s known as the “In the Air Tonight” Phil Collins dream. Had you kept dreaming you would have been invited to a concert where Phil would have sang you a song about seeing you do such a thing and it would have made you feel really guilty.
In the meantime, I had a dream that I ran into the dark haired girl from That 70’s Show but she said her name was Juliana, which it isn’t. What does that mean?
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:29 pm
And now I have that damned Phil Collins song stuck in my head.
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:20 pm
The attack ads have been getting to me too. Particularly because I get better reception from stations in an adjacent state.
November 4th, 2006 at 4:54 am
runjenrun,
most excellent, ineffable, scrumptious woman of words, my hat off to thee! Can we have some more pacman literature, please, please, please.
November 4th, 2006 at 10:05 am
Pauly D: If you told me you were drowning, I would totally lend a hand. Oh, and that dream means that Juliana is a lying tramp.
Jennifer: SO DO I!!! Forks in ears! Must. Stab. Eardrum!
claire: Oh, man! So you have to get attack ads for an election you can’t even vote in? That double sucks.
piktor: Kindly sir, doff not thy cap so readily. ‘Tis with troubled soul that I must reveal the bitter end to all tales pacmanic. (Until the next time my kinsmen and I don such noble uniforms…)
November 4th, 2006 at 10:32 pm
I found a recipe for Marshmallow Peep Cupcakes. They’ll let you get cupcakes in prison, right?
November 5th, 2006 at 8:35 am
Maybe you should start watching women’s gang documentaries, just in case?
November 5th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
That one starring Wendy O. Williams is pretty good.
November 6th, 2006 at 11:36 am
Ok, that’s two posts in a row that made me snort. I think there’s something very wrong here.