So Totally Crushing

roy.png
December 15, 2006
Dear Diary –
Ugh! I’m so like, totally, P.O.’d! Here’s what happened: I was in Social Studies with Sandra and Sizzle when they started passing notes back and forth to me while we were supposed to be silently reading. They were all, “Let’s make this Friday the Official Reveal Your Blog Crush Day!” But I was like, “No way! I’m not telling you who my crush is! You’ll totally make fun of me!” Then Sizzle goes, “Jenny! Don’t be such a baby! We’re totally not going to tell anyone!” and then Sandra was all, “No duh. It’s just between you and me. And Sizzle. But that’s it. We just want to know.”
So I go, “You tell me yours first!” But then Sandra just told me hers was Dooce and I was like, “Whatever! You’re just saying that because everyone says that. Why don’t you just say your crush is Scott Baio while you’re at it?”
Anyway, so then she was like, “Look, I just told you mine. Now you have to tell me yours.” So I really had no choice, since I promised her I would. So then I said, “Okay, my blog crush is… you don’t know him. His name is Roy. From Why I Blog.”
So Sizzle was like, “Roy? How come I don’t know him? I thought you were so crushed out on all those Canadians?” I think I totally blushed when she said that, because it’s so true, but I just explained that she didn’t know Roy ‘cause he goes to a different school. In Kansas City. Then Sandra wouldn’t let it drop. She kept asking me all about Roy and why did I think he was so cool. And then I just made her a list because that’s how I organize things when I’m stressed out:

  • He has a blog mascot named Roswell that is a bamboo plant.
  • He changes his blog template a lot, as well as his blog name, and sometimes ends up deleting all the comments in the process. But he doesn’t care, because he’s not into stats or stuff.
  • He used to have a lunar calendar on his site to track the phases of the moon. Then one time, I asked if we could have a party when the moon was full, and he totally hosted a kick-ass party on his site called the Loony Comment Party. Just like that.
  • He won an award for his flash fiction – twice!
  • He’s more than just an entertaining and intelligent writer – Roy is also a talented musician. He wrote this song for a friend, and I think it’s just the sweetest thing ever. Every time I listen to it, it makes me sad at first, then hopeful, then really happy. It should be in a movie. The song is called Wiggy and the Moon
  • He takes pictures of manhole covers.
  • Most of all, I love going to Roy’s blog because for some reason, I always feel like I’ve just stopped by a party. Not a wild, rowdy drunken type of party where you end up holding someone’s hair. More like a party you have with your good friends. The kind of familiar gathering that really isn’t so much a party as it is simply the five or six of you getting together for drinks and laughs and great conversation. And cupcakes. Roy will always have cupcakes.

So that’s why Roy is my blog crush. But after I told Sandra and Sizzle all that, they were all, “You’re so full of it, Jenny! You totally don’t know anyone in Kansas City. Nobody has a blog mascot that is a bamboo plant – you totally just made up this Roy guy.”
But I like things the way they are, so I just let them go on believing that.

22 Responses to “So Totally Crushing”

  1. Mocha Says:

    Oh, like, whatever. You totally know that when we had our cootie conversation that you said that you thought that you heard that the Loony Comment Party was just another way to be felt up.
    Poser.
    (OMG. OMG. You are HILARIOUS in that “I wish I was her” kind of way that is soothed with “Dude. I met her”)

  2. Dave2 Says:

    Well this is embarrassing… Roy was totally going to be MY blog crush! Thank heavens I read your blog before I made my announcement… it would have been a major faux-paux if we both showed up to History class with the same crush!

  3. churlita Says:

    So, I suppose after you made up this “Roy” to have a blog crush on, you’re totally going to give yourself hickeys with the vacuum cleaner and say he gave them to you too.

  4. asia Says:

    I am so glad Roy is your blog crush. Girl, you got class.

  5. jenny Says:

    Mocha: You know what’s even better than that? The feeling of, “Dude! I went to Portland with her!” I know, I know – you have school, kids, job, blah blah blah. I can still sulk, can’t I? :)
    Dave2: Oh that would have been WAY embarrassing! I would’ve had to drop out of school.
    Churlita: With my hair, I would never let a vacuum cleaner get anywhere near my neck. I can just picture that ride to the ER… they have to surgically remove the Hoover from my scalp… it’s not pretty.
    Asia: See, everyone? Roy does exist! I knew you were part of the fan club!

  6. ms. sizzle Says:

    hey that’s what us jr high hotties are here to do- give you a hard time! ;)
    love this post jenny. yay for the reveal!

  7. Don Says:

    Hey, I know Roy! Too! Sort of. I mean, I do, we’re like blog buds and stuff. Yeah, we hang out. Okay. Cool … uh, later …

  8. sandra Says:

    I’m totally going to read Roy’s blog now…if that’s okay with you…(please don’t get mad and not let me sit at your lunch table!)

  9. jenny Says:

    Sizzle: It’s true – you and Sandra were relentless!
    Don: I know – you’re part of the cool crowd, too. But you and Roy aren’t like captain of the football team cool, you’re more like debate team, theatre kid, science club cool… which is so much better.
    sandra: Oh, you totally should! Plus, I know that you’re too busy crushing on Dave2 for me to be worried.

  10. Alissa Says:

    You totally just got SO MUCH COOLER for even knowing boys at other schools!

  11. sween Says:

    Although we Canadians seem to have been RUTHLESSLY SNUBBED… I must confess I have listed, among my top five blog crushes… Jenny.
    [Pushes Jenny off the swings. Runs away and hides behind the jungle gym. Throws up.]

  12. jenny Says:

    Alissa: Can I join the Pink Ladies now?
    Sween: Oh, sween. Sween, sweeny, sweeny-cheeks. I went with the one crush only approach, and it was too difficult to choose among my Canadian crushes without starting a riot. And the more you push me off the swings, the more I know you like me. ;)

  13. roy Says:

    I got wind of this thing, this blog crush thing, a couple days ago, and I was, like, great, it’ll be just like third grade Valentimes with all the kids running around putting cards in the paper folder taped on the back of each chair. Except for mine, which has two–one from the teacher and one from Loren Saxe that says “You still owe me 35 cents jerk” and me on the floor in the corner with my Lone Ranger lunch box eating Twinkies to stave off the pain.
    And now this. That girl with the naturally curly hair! [sigh]
    I feel honored.

  14. jenny Says:

    Roy: Valentimes + Lone Ranger lunch box + Twinkies = 3 more reasons you took the prize.

  15. roy Says:

    Yo! Don! Blogger dude. ‘Sup? How ’bout them Kansas City Chiefs? (Oh, well, uhm, bad choice.)

  16. roy Says:

    Also, I thought I better mention–I’ve been telling all the guys at my school that you’re from Australia.

  17. mike Says:

    Just for the record, I condone and absolutely support crushing on Canadians (website idea?) — but I respect your decision to point out a nonCanadian on Reveal Your Blog Crush Day.
    For the record, you were part of my three-way. Tie, that is.
    Love and Maple Leaves,
    Mike

  18. jenny Says:

    roy: “Tell me more, tell me more, like, does he have a car?”
    Mike: Please see my new blog.

  19. shari Says:

    I love your new blog Jen, but not quite as much as this one. Still, I got to be your first commenter over there, so we’ll always have that.

  20. nancycle Says:

    That is a quality crush, besides anyone who has a picture of a Palo Alto manhole cover…Well…*sigh!*…How groovy is that?!

  21. peefer Says:

    Dang. Now, per custom, I have to stalk Roy for a month. Couldn’t you have crushed on someone I already know. All this stalking is tiring, you know.
    Nice new blog by the way. Very “inside”. (I thought is was cute that you had a site meter on it. Clearly, you’re feeling hopeful.)

  22. Pants Says:

    My blog crush quit blogging. :-(