Honestly, I didn’t really have anything important to say, but it seems that the plastic surgery picture traumatized so many people that I didn’t want to leave it up over the weekend. I’m doing this for you and you alone. So instead of writing nothing, I’m writing nothing with a picture of a cat in a sweater.
Natasha, Dee-Dee and I have taken up knitting again. I’ve always wanted to learn a trade, and although I thought it would be something more like masonry, I guess knitting will have to do for now. We joined a knitting guild on Tuesday. For real. There are membership cards and everything. Okay, so we didn’t actually join the guild yet, but we met some people from the guild and they told us to join the guild. We’re like guild-pledges. Soon we will be hazed, or felted, as they call it.
We have an invitation to join a knitting guild, and I’m considering knitting a fuschia sweater for my cats. I’m not sure if this signals the end of my social life, or just the beginning of me no longer caring about my social life, but I know it signals something. So far I can only knit about ten rows, then pull them all apart and start over. I’m like the Sisyphus of the knitting world. Or that guy whose liver was eaten by crows only to grow back the next day.
One day I will not unravel those ten rows, and instead I will add ten more, and ten more, until I have a glorious fuschia scarf which will elicit many oohs and ahhs from my fellow guilders.
But for now, it’s just a picture of a cat in a sweater from someone else’s website. I did this for you and you alone.

17 Responses to “Guild”

  1. Tracy Lynn Says:

    And after that picture was taken, the cat trapped and killed it’s “owner”, thereby completing the Circle Of Ignominy.
    Well, in a perfect world, anyway.

  2. Dave2 Says:

    How humiliating! Magenta is SO not that cat’s color.

  3. serap Says:

    Ooh, I love knitting! The most satisfying thing to knit are beanie hats… really, really easy, and then you get to see your work being exhibited on the heads of your nearest and dearest! I’m not part of a guild, which makes me feel sad – but I am planning on going to a ‘stitch and bitch’ meeting with my housemates mother. So apparently not caring about your social life does go hand in hand with knitting!

  4. shari Says:

    For me?? Really?!? Awwwww, that’s sweet. But when you knit the sweater for Sapphira, could it be blue please? Thanks Jen, you’re a pal. I mean, we’re still pals right, even though I’m not a member of the Guild?

  5. jenny Says:

    tracy lynn: it’s so true… you can see the plotting in his eyes.
    dave2: i would’ve knit him a nice argyle pattern.
    serap: no, knitting in and of itself isn’t the problem… it’s when i find myself at home, alone, on the weekends, knitting pantaloons for my cats. so until you reach that point, you’re just fine! :)
    shari: please send me sapphira’s measurements, and i’ll be sure to get started on it right away!

  6. You can call me, 'Sir' Says:

    If your cats get wind of your plan to dress them, they’ll no doubt destroy every wool-based creation you initiate. Just to be safe, they may also stalk and kill local sheep.

  7. You can call me, 'Sir' Says:

    If your cats get wind of your plan to dress them, they’ll no doubt destroy every wool-based creation you initiate. Just to be safe, they may also stalk and kill local sheep.

  8. churlita Says:

    So, are you even allowed to associate with those of us who not part of your fancy little guild?
    Please tell me there’s a secret handshake involved.

  9. Roy Says:

    Curious that you would choose to do something that is best likened to getting one’s liver pecked out by a demonic bird, but, yeah, anyway, that thing about your social life.
    But the reason I’m writing is to thank you for relegating Michael Jackson there to a point farther down on my scroll bar. Even though the cat is in obvious psychological distress.

  10. tori Says:

    A knitting guild? How cool! Where did you find this? I think you live somewhat near me and I would love to know!

  11. jenny Says:

    sir: i know… i’m just looking at that photo and trying to figure out how they got the arms in. my cats would have me in pieces by then!
    churlita: well, we’re not part of the guild yet, so they haven’t shared their secrets. i think we can still associate with non-guilders, but you’ll just have to accept the fact that there’s a big part of my life i can’t reveal to you.
    roy: distressed sweater cats are way less traumatic than grotesque cat ladies.
    tori: it’s the windy city knitting guild. sounds like a pretty cool group – both educational and social!

  12. claire Says:

    Prometheus, I think, as punishment for giving people fire.
    Thank you for the sweater cat even though I’m not into fuchsia. Are the plant and color the same? I just learned that the plant is supposed to be pronounced fuke-see-a (or maybe fukes-e-a).

  13. Laurel Says:

    Knitting proficiency aside, I’m impressed that you knew who Sisyphus is (was). I may have to start coming to Chicago to hang out with you smart kids, as my knowledge skillz have become somewhat tarnished by living in FL…

  14. kilax Says:

    I really hope you are being serious about knitting your cat a sweater because it is going to be hilarious :)

  15. mama's got moxie Says:

    he looks so…warm.

  16. mama's got moxie Says:

    he looks so…warm.

  17. jenny Says:

    claire: prometheus! that’s it – thanks! and i’ve always pronounced the plant just like the color… shows what i know.
    laurel: yes, we mostly just discuss greek mythology over hot cups of herbal tea. it’s a laugh riot!
    kilax: i need to make something for myself first before i slave over some creation that they will promptly vomit all over.
    MGM: it’s all the rage about to burst out.

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