But do they understand sarcasm?

“You know, when you throw up in the kitchen like that, it’s a really helpful reminder for me to wash the floor. It’s like I hardly even need to make to-do lists anymore – thanks!”
“You’re right – solids are out and tweed is in. These black pants look way better now that they have cat hair stuck all over them. You should get your own makeover TV show!”
“Good balance is an essential part of any successful exercise regimen, so I really appreciate you wrapping your body around my ankles as I walk through the house. Narrowly avoiding falling into that coffee table really helps build the core!”
“I really should remember to buy environmentally-friendly cotton grocery bags, and now that you’ve eaten the handles off of all these plastic ones and vomited them back up, I’ll remember to go green next time. I admire the way you care about the planet!”
“That PowerPoint presentation definitely needed some more oomph, and an entire slide with nothing but the letters SWSWSSSSWWWWSSWWWW is exactly what it needed. Thanks for keeping my laptop warm while I was in the bathroom!”

15 Responses to “But do they understand sarcasm?”

  1. Hilly Says:

    I think they understand it. I think they have a little underground network and they know things we’ll never be able to find out!

  2. sween Says:

    It’s posts like this that make me realize how baffled I am that you aren’t twittering.

  3. Don Says:

    They must be pleased that they’ve helped you ratchet the relationship to a new level.

  4. shari Says:

    My kids are living at your house now? Then how come they’re still leaving messes and sabotaging things over here?!

  5. derfina Says:

    “Oh, there it is. I knew I left my dead mouse somewhere around here. Silly me. Thank you for finding it for me and bringing it to me. Right here in my BED.”

  6. churlita Says:

    I don’t have cats, but my children learned to understand sarcasm at a very young age.

  7. peefer Says:

    Assholes. All of them.
    (I have three.)

  8. *lynne* Says:

    Oh hilarious! I totally agree with the solid vs tweed one, one of the reasons I can’t really wear black anymore, the one cat helps transform it into tweed in no time :)

  9. vahid Says:

    Oh, I think they understand sarcasm just fine, it’s just that they refuse to acknowledge it. It’s one of the mind games they play with us humans.

  10. jenny Says:

    hilly: i knew someone had to be making all those long-distance calls!
    sween: 140 characters is actually the true content of most of my entries.
    don: we keep evolving as a family.
    shari: at least your kids don’t eat the plastic bags…
    derfina: oh, see you must have a country cat, what with the mice-bringing and all.
    churlita: kids can pick up languages faster than we can.
    peefer: total assholes.
    lynne: i need to get a jet black cat next time!
    vahid: they’re always messing with my head. punks.

  11. Tracy Lynn Says:

    They total understand sarcasm, but you are making the assumption that they ACTUALLY LISTEN.

  12. Anonymous Says:

    Dear Jenny,
    Why is it that every time I return to your blog after forgetting to read it for awhile a cat is throwing up? Please consider the fact that I read your pieces during my lunch break.

  13. jenny Says:

    tracy lynn: good point. in their heads, they’re all “la la la la i can’t hear you la la la la!”
    viv: you haven’t missed much. the most notable thing happening in my life is finding cat puke.

  14. jewelz916 Says:

    Those are all familiar scenarios around our house as well. I also like: Your internal alarm clock is great for waking me up at 5:00 in the morning. Even on weekends I don’t get the chance to sleep in. Thanks for making sure I don’t waste time by sleeping the day away!!!!

  15. Stacey Says:

    Yours do that too? I don’t have the patience for sarcasm. Pretty much everything they do is met with “What the hell?!”

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