Damned Dirty Apes

All my life, I’ve wanted only one thing, and that’s a pickpocketing monkey to call my own. How come India gets everything? Sometimes the injustice of it all just makes me so mad.

8 Responses to “Damned Dirty Apes”

  1. Strode Says:

    I have often thought of turning my son into a pickpocketing monkey. I am sure that if there were enough treats involved. Hmmmm.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    It’s all fun and games until your monkey steals your identity, buys himself a McMansion and forces you to be his driver. God of Strength, hell yeah.

  3. shari Says:

    Yeah, but you got those curls. Somewhere in India, some girl is pissed as hell because all she really wanted in life was to have gorgeous curls, but instead, all she got was a pickpocketing monkey.

  4. churlita Says:

    yeah, but it doesn’t seem like they’re pickpocketing for anyone but themselves. So, having one, would only mean you couldn’t keep any soda in your fridge.

  5. jenny Says:

    strode: hmm… does your son eat much? maybe i could borrow him from time to time. :)
    anonymous: i guess i hadn’t really thought of that. i may need to rethink this dream.
    shari: yeah, but those girls in india can just get themselves a home perm. as far as i know, ogilvie doesn’t make thieving monkeys. yet.
    churlita: that’s because they didn’t train their thieving monkeys well enough. i’d have them ship-shape in no time!

  6. Fiorello La Guardia Says:

    I thought you were always bragging about those two little feline stinkers…Nelson and Jeannette? Can’t you teach them how to heist a purse or cop a wallet in your spare time? After all, I DID see a cat that had learned to eat with chopsticks, right? Are your two less capable? I think NOT! ;)

  7. Tracy Lynn Says:

    Dude, I have only one thing to say, but it is not insignificant: MONKEYS FLING POO.

  8. adena Says:

    Having BEEN to India, I can safely state that THE MONKEYS REALLY DO THIS!!!
    They stole my friend’s camera. He got it back, but had to duct tape it all to hell….they apparently thought if THEY couldn’t have it, than no one could.

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