Dear Coughing Woman:
For the past week and a half I have been sitting at my desk trying to do work and read important online journals which are more commonly known as Web logs, or “blogs,” but my train of thought is constantly interrupted by your incessant coughing.
I am not a doctor, but it sounds to me like you are in the final stages of consumption, which concerns me greatly. I don’t really know what consumption is, but I seem to recall that a lot of famous writers from the olden days died of it, so you can see why I’m a bit worried. Also, I saw you eating chicken in the lounge the other day, so there is the distinct possibility that you have the avian flu as well.
I know we don’t know each other, in fact, I don’t even know what department you work for, so I hope this letter doesn’t seem out of line. If I did know what department you worked for, I would most certainly speak to your vice president and tell him/her how appalled I am at the fact that his/her department doesn’t allow its employees to take sick days. I can only assume that sick days are strictly verboden where you work, or certainly you would not subject this many people to your open mouthed barking for hours on end.
Given that you are obviously being forced to come to work each day, no matter how sick you are, I felt it necessary to call a few things to your attention. As you know, everyone on this side of the building shares one kitchen area, and on numerous occasions I have witnessed you moistly coughing into your hand, rubbing your nose and then:
1. Grabbing the doorknob to the kitchen
2. Opening the refrigerator
3. Touching the microwave
4. Pressing several buttons on the pop machine
5. Licking clean the surface of every table
Perhaps I didn’t actually witness that last one, but based on your fondness for spreading disease, it seemed a logical assumption.
Over the past week and a half, I have also noticed that several other people in your immediate vicinity have started coughing as well, which leads me to believe that there is an outbreak of consumption in the area which must be contained immediately. As I mentioned before, I’m not a doctor, so I did a quick Google search of “quarantine procedures” and found what appears to be a helpful article from the University of Michigan.
Starting this afternoon, we will be instituting these procedures until it is determined that there is no further threat of contamination. Since this article was targeted more toward rodents than corporate employees, I have made the appropriate text edits to make this more relevant to our situation.
Rodent Incessant Coughing Employee Quarantine Procedures
All rodents employees shipped to the University of Michigan Valhalla Inc. from other institutions or non-approved vendors must go through quarantine procedures before being housed in other animal rooms animal rooms. This is necessary to avoid the possible introduction of infectious agents into the University of Michigan Valhalla Inc. rodent facilities kitchen.
Quarantine Entry Procedures

I heard a tap on the glass and looked up from my desk. She was standing at the door, holding a brown paper bag and a silver bowl. My eyes lit up as I smiled and waved.
“Class, if you haven’t finished yet, you can set aside your spelling worksheets for now. We have a special guest – Jenny’s mom is here, and she has a treat for us all.”
I think the teacher might have said something else, but no one could hear her over the clamor of papers rustling, girls giggling, and metal scraping against linoleum as we rearranged our desks in a circle.
My mother had volunteered to come to my class and tell a story, so I had waited eagerly all day for her to arrive. She set the silver bowl down on a desk and then pulled out a giant red fruit from her bag. She then passed it around so we could all look at it before she began her story, which was the tale of Persephone.
After collecting the strange fruit back from the students, she rolled it in her hands and then placed it carefully in the silver bowl before scooting her chair in closer to the circle.
“The Greek god Zeus and the goddess of the harvest Demeter had a beautiful daughter named Persephone,” she told us.
“Persephone loved to help her mother in the fields, planting and tending to the crops. Over the years, the god of the underworld, Hades, would watch Persephone as she worked outside, and eventually he fell in love with her because she was so beautiful. Hades asked Zeus if he could marry his daughter, but Zeus refused because he knew how much her mother would miss her.”
We all listened attentively as my mother continued her story. She told us that one day, while Persephone was out picking flowers, Hades kidnapped her and took her down into the underworld to make her his wife.
When Demeter discovered that Persephone had been kidnapped, she stopped taking care of the crops so she could look for her daughter. Everything started to die, and people began to starve.
“Why didn’t she take care of the crops?”
“Because she was so sad. She missed her daughter so much, and she had to find her no matter what,” my mother answered.
“When Persephone was in the underworld, Hades offered her all kinds of wonderful feasts, but she wouldn’t eat anything. She didn’t want to take any food from Hades because she was afraid of him. But one day, Persephone got so hungry that she snuck into Hades’ garden and ate just six tiny seeds from a pomegranate.”
“Like that one!”
“Exactly.”
At this point, my mother stopped her story and asked me to help her with the pomegranate. She sliced the fruit in half, and held it up for everyone to see. The dark red seeds rest like little jewels in a honeycomb. It reminded me of the geode my uncle brought me from Florida – when he cracked it open, there were beautiful purple crystals inside.

She cut the fruit again into quarters and handed them to me. I pulled the seeds out, one by one, and put them into the silver bowl. They made a soft cracking sound as I pried each one out of its tight grip. When I had removed all the seeds, I passed the bowl around the classroom, and my mother told everyone to take a few to eat.
“But what part do you eat?” someone asked.
“You eat the whole thing – even the little white seed inside. It won’t hurt you.”
“Do I have to eat that part?”
My mother laughed, “No. You don’t have to eat the whole thing, but at least try it. The juice is delicious!”
I placed a seed into my mouth, bit down, and winced a little as the tart juice burst onto my tongue. I ate the whole thing, just like my mother said we could. The next one was much sweeter.

As we finished eating the pomegranate, my mother continued her story, “Zeus tried to get his daughter back from the underworld, but Hades told him that since she had eaten six pomegranate seeds, Persephone would have to stay there with him and be his wife. So for six months of the year, Persephone had to live with Hades. Then for the other six months, she could go home and be with her mother. So every year, when Persephone had to go back to the underworld, Demeter would get terribly sad, and she would let all the crops die. And that’s why all the trees lose their leaves and the plants die in the fall and winter.”
“Because her mother is sad?”
“Yes, because she misses her daughter so much that she can’t take care of any of the crops. And then when Persephone comes back every spring, Demeter is so happy that she plants the fields and makes everything grow again.”
My classmates asked a few more questions while my mother cleaned up the pomegranate remains and wiped out the bowl. As she was packing up to go home, a girl leaned over to me and asked, “How come your mom knows all this?”
I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I don’t know. She just knows lots of stuff.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, and ’cause she’s a gypsy.”
“Really?”
“She is?”
“What’s a gypsy?”
I didn’t answer. As my mother left the classroom, she winked at me and waved goodbye to the class. I waved back, my hand still stained red from the pomegranate.

Filed under: General on November 9th, 2005 | 20 Comments »

By Dr. Jenny Amadeo, PhD, Human Relations and Sexual Development
I know what some of you are thinking. You’re saying to yourself, “Sure Jenny has a PhD in Human Relations and Sexual Development, but is that really even an actual area of specialization? And even if it is, how can she, with her PhD in Human Relations and Sexual Development, help me identify who I am most attracted to?”
Well, first of all, you ended that question with a preposition. But whatever. Secondly, I resent the implication that my degree is something I just made up on the “L” ride home last week. If you really knew what you were talking about, you would know that I don’t even take the “L” home anymore. I ride the Metra, as I have for almost the past year. So there goes your theory out the window.
Moving on to the second and actually sensible part of your question, you want to know how I can help you identify your ideal mate, is that right? Well, fortunately, most of you took the quiz from last week. If you didn’t, there’s still time, but only if you stop reading right now and go here. Then come back to us. Go. Now. Bunch of Johnny Come Lately’s.
For those of you who did take the quiz, I need to preface this report by saying that you may disagree with my findings, but just know that as a scientist, everything I tell you is truthful and accurate. I looked at the facts, followed the trends, analyzed and dissected the data, and discovered that all attraction comes down to simple choices.
Through your raw honesty and deep self-examination, you have helped further science in the area of Human Relations and Sexual Development. So I thank you all for your willing participation in this study, and must admit that I have never been more attracted to you than I am right at this moment. Call me?

The Rules of Attraction: Research Findings

METHODOLOGY
Subjects were placed in a controlled web-based environment and presented with a series of choices. They were instructed to select the option to which they found themselves most attracted. Choices were:

1. Circle or square
2. Bear or wolf
3. Sun or moon
4. Crocodile or cobra
5. Solid, liquid or vapor

Results were tabulated and analyzed by an independent laboratory in a controlled whiskey-based environment in northern Chicago.
STATISTICS
Number of respondents (including Natasha and Dr. Amadeo):
30
Demographics:
Male = 23%
Female = 74%
Unknown = 3% (1 anonymous)
Responses:
Circle = 53%
Square = 47%
Bear = 55%
Wolf = 45%
Sun = 30%
Moon = 70%
Cobra = 52%
Crocodile = 48%
Solid = 21%
Liquid = 38%
Vapor = 41%
Most Popular Choices:
Circle
Bear
Moon
Cobra
Vapor
PERSONALITY TRAITS
At the most basic level, each option within these pairs is inherently either masculine or feminine.
Masculine:
Square
Bear
Sun
Crocodile
Solid
Feminine:
Circle
Wolf
Moon
Cobra
Liquid/Vapor
In addition, each option has certain personality traits associated with it, which drive our attraction toward each. Whether consciously or not, respondents found themselves drawn toward the characteristics that each of these options possess.
Square = stable, pragmatic, mechanical
Circle = emotional, open, artistic
Bear = fun-loving, outgoing, strong
Wolf = aloof, mysterious, wild
Sun = healthy, friendly, extroverted
Moon = romantic, elusive, noncommittal
Crocodile = aggressive, bold, athletic
Cobra = manipulative, clever, flexible
Solid = reliable, honest, rational
Liquid = adaptable, creative, passionate
Vapor = evasive, shy, mystical
As any good researcher on a tight budget will do, I used myself as the first subject, and my choices were Square, Wolf, Moon, Cobra, Liquid. This means that I am most attracted to people who are mechanical, mysterious, romantic, clever, and creative. “But, Jenny,” you’re thinking. “Some of these traits contradict each other. How can you be attracted to someone who’s both stable and elusive?”
And to that, my response is that clearly you and I have never dated, or you would know that I am attracted to all sorts of things that contradict each other. Be more attentive! Give me my space! Tell me how you feel! Stop being such a crybaby!
KEY FINDINGS
Based on their responses, study participants were grouped into three different categories based on the personality traits they find most attractive. This means that these individuals should all meet each other and hang out at the bars together, since they clearly are attracted to the same types of people. Or conversely, it means that they should avoid each other at all costs, for fear of having their mates stolen by backstabbing bloggers with similar tastes. (I only present the data, what you do with it is up to you.)
Please note: the label for each group indicates the type of person to whom they are most attracted, and does not necessarily reflect their own personality.
The Grounded
Kevin
Asia
Mateo
The Ethereal
Romy
Nicole
Shari
Tracy Kaply
Roy
Karen
Darby
Strode
Jessica
Dr. Amadeo
The Conflicted The Hermaphrodite The Balanced
Stationary Queen
Cee
The Scarlett
Number4of5
Sarah
Roxie
Christie
Nina
Junebug
Dr. G
Brando
Teahouseblossom
Fiorello La Guardia
Anonymous
Cheryl
Jill
Natasha
CONCLUSIONS

1. Women like to take personality quizzes more than men.

2. With a few notable exceptions (ahem…), the majority of respondents like structure and rules.
3. Very few respondents are attracted to mates who are grounded.
4. Many respondents seek conflict.
5. Most bloggers fear the sun.
6. My friend Vivian needs to change that “I don’t like quizzes” attitude if she ever wants to meet someone nice.
7. Respondents are mostly a bunch of softies and romantics.
8. Nina is really impatient.
9. I should really let my subscription to Cosmo run out.
10. I think squares are hot.
11. I would make out with a wolf, right here, right now.

My next study is about the effects of excessive blogging on libido, so if you are over the age of 21 and a non-smoker, please contact my research assistant to set up an appointment to participate in this important study.

Filed under: General on November 7th, 2005 | 22 Comments »

Heavy duty box cutter: $9.99

Black duct tape: $4.89

Two cans of black enamel spray paint: $9.98

Dual temperature hot glue gun: $16.99

Portable karaoke machine: $24.99

Karaoke CD’s: $22.99

Dressing up as a human karaoke machine and having your friends sing to you all night: Priceless!



The evening got a little out of control by the end, and I suspect that Seamus will soon be evicted. To quote Natasha, “When the mime doth lay down with the wolf, Armageddon is nigh.”

Filed under: General on November 1st, 2005 | 23 Comments »

Paint-by-numbers f*ing suck. Who the hell thought this would be a good idea? “Yeah, Jenny. Go to Michael’s! Get a paint-by-number! It’s really calming, and will make you feel like an artist.”
And at first, it did. I would sit at my coffee table with the television on softly, gleefully painting away on Wild Horses. First #59 (Brown). Start with the big spaces first, the instructions said. Do all one color at a time, it told me. So I did, and I felt such pride as I saw the horse’s shoulder and head come together. Then I pulled out the #21 (Black), and continued on with his majestically flowing mane and some rocks. Now for a splash of color, why don’t you focus on #50 (Blue)? Oh, capital idea! That sky really pops now, doesn’t it?

But then I moved on to #17 (White).
I mean, do you people have any idea at all how unsatisfying it is to paint white acrylic paint onto a white piece of canvas board, into tiny little misshapen blobs and narrow slivers that are one-tenth the size of my brush, over and over again? Well I’ll tell you – it’s really unsatisfying. It’s probably exactly how that Greek sissy guy felt as he pushed that boulder up the hill, only to watch it roll back down again. Defeated.
It got to the point where I didn’t even give a crap whether I was staying in the lines or not, because who could even tell? And then the stupid purple numbers still showed through the cheap-ass white acrylic paint, which made me even angrier. They didn’t give me enough #17 to do a double coat, dammit! What am I supposed to do – go out and buy one special tiny container of #17?!? They’ll laugh me right out of Home Depot!
Natasha told me that they use paint-by-numbers as art therapy in prisons for the criminally insane because it supposedly calms them down. Well, I’ve seen One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and now I know what gave Chief the strength to rip that drinking fountain out of the wall, and it wasn’t Juicy Fruit.
Look, in general, I’m a pretty controlled person, but I’m telling you that if the guy who designed Wild Horses walked into my apartment right now, I would swing him around my living room by the legs like a rag doll, watch him smash through the window, and not even bother to look to see if he at least missed the sidewalk. Such is my rage.
But, tempted as I am to just take a giant sponge brush and paint the rest of the canvas #64 (Green), I made you all a promise. I told you and myself that I wouldn’t give up on this. If I quit now, how will you ever trust me again? What will my word mean to you after that betrayal? How will I ever look my 7th grade art teacher in the eye if I run into him in the grocery store, even though I think he might have died a few years ago?
And so I continue. I’m going to take it day by day, because that’s all I can do. One color at a time, like the instructions told me to do. Like everything in life, it’s what you take away from an experience – good or bad – that matters. And I have to admit that this has taught me a lot about myself. I learned that somewhere, deep inside me, lies a pure and untapped pool of hatred. I learned that I hate art. And I hate numbers. And I really hate people who make art with numbers. And I guess this newfound discovery makes the whole experience worthwhile.

Filed under: General on October 29th, 2005 | 15 Comments »

I hear a series of explosions.
Gunshots outside my window.
A woman shrieks, but the people around her just scream back, then run away into the darkness.
Sirens lull me to sleep.
I wake to learn that the White Sox have won the Superbowl. The curse of the Bambino has finally been lifted.
Note to local Chicago news reporters: never, ever, hand your microphone to a near-blind drunk man who is currently crowd-surfing in a bar. You will most likely never see that microphone again.

Filed under: General on October 27th, 2005 | 22 Comments »

“Hello?”
“You say it’s your birthday? It’s my birthday too, yeah! You say it’s your birthday? Gonna have a goo-“
“Hey, can you hang on?”
“Oh… uh, sure. [humming to self while on hold] Gonna hmm hmm good time. Hmm hmm hmm birthday. Well happy birth…”
“Sorry, I was on the other line with my mom.”
“Oh. No problem. Well, happy birthday, Dr. Greene! I’m working on a special painting for you.”
“Yeah, I read about your Wild Horses. Thought you were auctioning it off on your blog?”
“Oh, you read that? Well, maybe this painting isn’t for you, but if it turns out, I’ll make you one of your own.”
“I was into paint-by-numbers for a while. There was this super cool one I saw at Michael’s a couple years ago, but I didn’t buy it, and then I couldn’t find it again. It was a painting of [deleted], but don’t mention that on your site!”
“Ohmigod! Are you serious? A paint-by-numbers of [deleted]? That’s so awesome! But so what if I mention it?”
“Then everyone will run to Michael’s and it will be sold out again, and I’ll be stuck painting Sad Clown.”
“I kind of like sad clowns. They’re sad, but still look funny. Because that’s their job.”
“Yeah, well, I’m going to Google “paint by numbers” + “[deleted]” to see if I can find one. Hang on – no frickin’ way! They have like three different versions of [deleted]! That’s so awesome! And this one’s only $14.99”
“Cool. See, after I’m done with Wild Horses, I think I want to do something more inspirational. Like, you know that one poster of the kitten hanging from a tree branch, and then it says, ‘Hang in There!’ at the bottom? I love that poster. Because that kitten’s just not gonna give up. He’s gonna hang in there as long as it takes. We could all learn something from that kitten.”
“So it would appear that you like the kitten.”
“What can I say? He’s a trooper. He’s got the-“
“Heart of a champion?”
“Exactly! I wonder if they have that in paint-by-numbers.”
“Yeah, a cat painting would be pretty cool. Not as cool as [deleted], but still pretty cool. Well, I should probably go – I think my mom and my sister were trying to call me again.”
“Okay, good talking to you. And happy birthday!”
“Thanks! Bye.”
As soon as I got off the phone with Dr. Greene, I checked my email and found this: Champ. It’s so nice to be understood.
Update: Sorry Brando and Neil – apparently you both thought I should stop at the mane, but I’ve got to complete this one. I may have given up on dozens of other hobbies, walked away from high-paying jobs, and passed up free coffee samples at the train station, but no one in my family has ever abandoned a paint-by-numbers. It’s just not done where I grew up.
Elapsed Time: 4.25 hours

Of course, I did have the best idea yesterday – I should have done the painting in reverse: black is white, blue is orange, brown is… whatever the opposite of brown is (Where’s my color wheel when I need it?). Then I really would have carved out a niche for myself in the highly competitive paint-by-number art world. I think it would have looked something like this: Shazam!
Oh well, they don’t call me Jenny “I’m a Day Late and a Dollar Short” Amadeo for nothing.

Filed under: General on October 26th, 2005 | 12 Comments »

Looking around my apartment this weekend, I realized that there was a noticeable lack of artwork on my walls. I very much appreciate art, but for some reason rarely purchase it. I think part of it is the whole commitment element of actually nailing into the wall. What if I don’t like it there? Then I have to squirt toothpaste into the hole, which would be fine, if my walls weren’t red. Although I suppose I could switch to cinnamon toothpaste, but that would require a complete shift in everything I believe in.
So I walked to the art gallery down the block from me and took a look at some of their current pieces. They were just lovely – dark, moody photographs and abstract block prints. There were several I would have loved to own, until I saw the price tag of $700 each. Because $700 is the exact figure that triggers the dangerous response in my brain: “But… I could do that myself!”
I’ve been down this road before, so many times, and I have the scars to prove it. I rarely open my hall closet, for fear of stirring up the Ghost of Hobbies Past. The unfinished beaded flowers, the half-complete wool scarves, the never lit sand-candles, the amorphous wood-carvings. Sometimes at night I hear them plotting my revenge, which involves getting me interested in scrapbooking.
But maybe what these projects all lacked was structure. I like structure, even when it comes to art. But how can I, an amateur tap dancer and jug band dropout, create an original piece of artwork that requires minimal artistic talent and is completely structured? Of course: Paint-by-numbers!
I sped to the closest Michael’s Arts & Crafts store I could find, shoving aside a teenage boy who was debating over the 1957 Corvette or the B52 Bomber models, and finally reached an enormous rack of paint-by-number kits. The options were endless – oil or acrylic? Wildlife or landscapes? It was so hard to choose.
But what ultimately drew me to my final selection, aside from the fact that it was in the $3.99 clearance bin, was the complex emotional torment that it captured. It was titled, “Wild Horses,” and initially, I took that title at face value. Okay, I thought, so here are some horses and they’re running around wild. So what? I never was one of those “horse” girls. You know the ones – the fresh-faced girls with freckles and long hair kept in a slightly unkempt braid, oddly sexual posters of silky black horses plastered inside their lockers. No, I was not a “horse” girl. Frankly, I have mixed emotions about horses, so I initially tossed this kit aside and looked at the one with the lighthouses.

However, as I pondered whether swans near watermills or the canals in Venice would look better in my dining room, I found myself glancing back at “Wild Horses.” At first I didn’t know why, but then I realized that as I looked into the eyes of the brown horse in the foreground, I recognized such familiar longing. A yearning for a different life – somewhere far away from the expectations and obligations of the family he had always known. And then I noticed the quiet strength of the white horse, and how tenderly she nuzzled the young colt. Here was a mother who wanted to encourage her son to run and grow, but at the same time felt the ache deep within her belly at her child’s budding independence.
And then there was that other horse who just looked kind of stupid and had hair like Fabio. I might leave him out entirely, or perhaps turn him into a magical unicorn.
As soon as I got home, I told myself that I couldn’t start the painting today, since I’m still in the middle of my Halloween costume project, and my kitchen looks a bit like I just joined some sort of underground militia with spray paint and duct tape and box cutters strewn about. But my unbridled enthusiasm for creating art got the better of me. As soon as I opened up the box and saw the sea of purple numbers, I immediately wished I had chosen the Level 1 painting, which was a hot air balloon. There were only five colors in that kit, while mine, I have since learned, requires that I mix paints together and perfect the “feathering” technique. [Technique? There’s no technique in paint-by-number! Why do you think people buy them?]

Well, no matter. I am up to the challenge. If an 8-year old can do this, than I certainly can. Of course, 8-year olds do have quite keen eyesight, and possess those little hands and nimble fingers so well designed for shelling walnuts and executing detailed feathering techniques.
God, I really hope I can do justice to this work of art. I’m going to give you some updates every so often so you can gauge my progress. If this turns out well, I am considering doing a series of paint-by-numbers for my living room, and will possibly commission a few for the right price.
So here is my first update. Elapsed time: 1.5 hours. At this rate, it will take me approximately 107 hours to complete this painting. Assuming I make the Illinois state minimum wage of $6.50/hour, this painting will ultimately cost me $695.50, plus the $3.99 for the kit, which comes out to a grand total savings of $0.51 as opposed to if I had just purchased that dark, moody photograph that started this whole thing. So you can see that once again the adage holds true: if you want something done right, you’d better do it yourself.

Filed under: General on October 24th, 2005 | 18 Comments »

“Hey Jenny – the department is trying to pull together a team of people to do the Hustle Up the Hancock thing. You in? It’ll be fun!”
“Mmm… isn’t that when we walk up 94 flights of stairs to the top of the Hancock Building?”
“Yeah – I did it last year in 14 minutes – it was so much fun! I couldn’t feel my knees around the 60th floor, but after that, I just kind of zoned out.”
“Hmm. Well let’s see – we had a fire drill on Monday, and my calves are still killing me from walking down 20 flights of stairs. Something tells me my baboon heart would explode somewhere around the 11th floor.”
“Oh, come on! It’ll be fun!”
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Filed under: General on October 20th, 2005 | 15 Comments »

Okay, so sorry to disappoint, but I’m not really going to a Star Trek Convention (although wow - the blogging opportunities would just be endless). I will, however, be taking my leave soon, to the true final frontier.
Yes, I’m heading up nort’ to Madison, WI to hobnob with the literati at the Wisconsin Book Festival. My friend Jen is doing some readings and speaking in a few high-powered smarty pants discussion panels, so my plan is to put my hair into a disheveled bun, push my glasses down to the end of my nose, sneak into some of the conferences wearing a corduroy blazer with leather patches on the sleeves, and ask questions like:
“Interesting point you make, Ms. Benka, about the symbolism of the decaying topiaries in Mr. Blahdeeblah’s first novella, but really my question is… if you could make out with one poet, living or deceased, would it be Ralph Waldo Emerson, Emily Dickinson, Arthur Rimbaud, Maya Angelou, or Theodore Geisel? Thank you.”
While I’m at the University, I think I might need to take the opportunity to live out some of my college dreams since I didn’t attend UW-Madison. I should probably make a short list, so I don’t forget any important details:

1. Buy beanbag chairs at Urban Outfitters
2. Practice handstands for upside down kegger hits
3. Memorize Greek alphabet
4. Start food fight in the quad
5. Haze a freshman
6. Paint school spirited, yet still attractive, “W” on cheek for Badgers game
7. Make Fimo clay beads
8. Join impromptu drum circle on street
9. TP the Dean’s house
10. Make out with Arthur Rimbaud or anyone wearing a Guatemalan sweater

I cannot wait – college kicks ass! See you next week!

Filed under: General on October 12th, 2005 | 16 Comments »