Unsolicited Testimonials


Here’s what people are saying about TequilaCon:

“OMG! It was so much fun! I can’t believe I got to meet that one blogger – he’s so HAWT!”
– Shari, Eclectic

“I laughed so hard I peed my pants!”
– Dustin, Cotters in My Tummy

“Where are my pants?”
– Karl, Secondhand Tryptophan

“She doesn’t even drink tequila! TequilaCon is a sham!”
– Ashbloem, Ashbloemstraat

“No, I don’t have a blogsite. I don’t really read internet web blogsites. I’m just here with Jenny.”
– Dee-Dee

With testimonials like that, I know that you DO NOT want to miss out on what is certain to be the GREATEST. TEQUILACON. EVER! So that’s why I want you to save the date: May 2008. Yes, just save the entire month for right now. Or at least every Saturday in May 2008. Except Memorial Day weekend – it won’t be that one. So save the other three, won’t you?

Important and Official TequilaCon Business™ will be conducted behind closed doors next week, and with the help of an arbitrator, we expect to have a final date chosen shortly thereafter. But for now, just block off all of May.

The location has already been selected, and I’m pleased to announce that it will be in that City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia! So all those East Coast bloggers who wore fancy coats to TC06 and abandoned their blogs and created new secret blogs and then complained about not being able to make to TC07 in Portland will have absolutely no excuse.

And for those of you unfamiliar with TequilaCon, here’s how it works:
1. The official TequilaCon committee chooses a location, date and time.
2. A bunch of bloggers all meet up there. The invitation is open to everyone.
3. That same bunch of bloggers drinks and talks and laughs and takes photos, but never EVER takes videos.
4. Everyone goes home with an unsettling combination of exhilaration, tattoos and regret.

If this still hasn’t convinced you, then might I suggest reviewing highlights from the past three TequilaConses?

You don’t want to skip this event – it could will change your life!

Stay tuned for more details!

Northern Comfort

It comes down to this: Portlanders eat a lot of macaroni and cheese.

There are so many stories to share about TequilaCon, but for some reason, I just keep coming back to the macaroni and cheese. Why is that, I wonder? I mean, why is it that they eat so much macaroni and cheese, not why do I keep coming back to that? No matter where we went, we couldn’t escape it. Fancy restaurants, dives, street vendors – they all served macaroni and cheese. Puzzling.

Is there something about the grey climate that makes people yearn for comfort? Does the smell of evergreen and hemp trigger some innate need for carbohydrate induced happiness?
I don’t really have the explanation, but I do know that comfort was an important theme throughout the TequilaCon weekend.

It all began when Brandon met up with me on Friday night before the main event. We went to a bar not far from my hotel while we awaited the arrival of Jill, Jessica, and my friend Dee-Dee. I stuck with beer, while Brandon sipped his gin martini. Eventually, he opted for something he considered to be less potent, and ordered a shot of Southern Comfort. As soon as the bartender poured the drink, my mouth began to water, but not in a good way.

“Oh god, the smell! It just brings back so many bad memories,” I winced.

“Me too,” said the bartender, as she shoved the drink in front of Brandon. He moved over a stool and quietly sipped his drink.

bar reflection

Once everyone arrived, we headed out to dinner at a restaurant called Mother’s Bistro. Before any of us had picked out our entrees, Dee decided to order an appetizer.

pre-dinner

“Can we get the macaroni and cheese as an appetizer?”

“Of course,” the waitress replied, as though it were a common request. And perhaps it was. Either way, it was the most amazing macaroni and cheese we had ever eaten. We used the bread to wipe up the last remnants of cheese from the plate.

Our entrees consisted of the ultimate comfort food: chicken and dumplings, meatloaf and gravy, pierogi, and crab cakes, topped off with a plate of cream puffs for dessert. As I reached down to unbutton the top button of my pants, I was sorely disappointed to realize that I had already unbuttoned them after the macaroni and cheese.

After finishing the last of our wine, we then moved on to the site of TequilaCon – the Kennedy School. There, we met up with more bloggers and got our first look at Dave’s amazing handiwork – the lanyards and buttons. Although he pretends to be hard core on his site, Dave is really a softie, and wanted to make sure everyone would be comfortable walking up to bloggers they’d never met before, hence the lanyards:

swag

Brandon, on the other hand, pretends to be a softie on his site, but is really hard core, and wanted to make sure everyone would be comfortable walking up to bloggers they’d never met before, hence his closet:

brandon's liquor closet

I was certain that Brandon had purchased enough alcohol to supply not only this year’s TequilaCon, but well into next year’s. However, after about one hour, both the entire bottle of Jameson’s and half the bottle of tequila were gone, so clearly he had researched the TequilaConner demographic more thoroughly than I had.

The next morning, I joined the pilgrimage to Powell’s Books, where about a dozen of us got lost among floor upon floor of glorious used and new books. My friend Dee has been clocked as one of the fastest readers in North America, and therefore had already read 90% of the books in the entire store, but she was still able to find a vampire story written from the perspective of Renfield that caught her fancy.

Once we’d reached the limit of books that would fit in our luggage, Jess, Dee-Dee and I decided to make a pilgrimage of another sort – shoe shopping. Jill’s eyes lit up when we mentioned our plans, so she happily joined us on our quest. There was much squabbling over who would get to purchase the last remaining pair of red tapestry Converse low top Chucks, and after both Dee and I each walked around with one shoe on and tried to convince ourselves that it fit, it was ultimately Jessica who ended up as the true Cinderella. I, on the other hand, came home with the most comfortable pair of boots I’ve ever owned.

All of this, of course, was simply the prelude to the main event later that night. I promised Brandon I would help him assemble the gift bags he brought for everyone, but I got an urgent call as I was eating an early dinner with Dee, Jill and Jessica.

“Hey, Jenny –it’s Brandon. It’s an emergency! I’m out of bread!”

“Out of bread?”

“For the sandwiches! The peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that I’m putting into all the gift bags. I miscalculated and now I’m out of bread!”

“Half sandwiches.”

“Huh?”

“Just cut them in half.”

“But what if people want a whole sandwich?”

“I just won’t eat mine then.”

And it turned out to be a good thing that I didn’t eat mine, because Dustin ate approximately nine half sandwiches. But he’s a growing boy with naturally curly hair, and having curly hair makes you hungry. I should know.

pb&j #4

[The ridiculously adorable Vahid and Dustin]

Once at the Kennedy School, our fellow bloggers began arriving in droves to pick up their lanyards and begin the festivities. There was a steady stream of activity all night long, and more stories than I could begin to share.

There were gift bags:
king of the gift bags

[Brandon surveys his handiwork]

and tattoos:
sibyl is a badass

[Sibyl unleashes her inner badass]

and toasts:
cheers!

[Robert and Jill break into their gift bags]

and feats of strength:
he's not heavy, he's my brother

[I prove I can carry Vahid]

and the airing of grievances:
heated debate

[Dave2 and I almost come to blows]

But most of all, there were so many smiles and laughs:
smiley

[Jill, me, Brandon, Dustin]

I didn’t think we would be able to compete with TequilaCon ’06 in New York, but between the gift bags and the lanyards and the uber-cool city of Portland, TequilaCon ’07 was an amazing event and an absolute blast. Thanks so much to everyone who came out and made it a total success, and a special thanks to Brandon and Dave2 for all their amazing efforts that raised the bar to a whole new level.

I can’t wait to see everyone at the next one! Next year it will be held wherever we can find the best macaroni and cheese.

Now for a different perspective, check out the other attendees’ sites:

brandon, jill, dave2, adena, asia, chad, chantel, colleen, dan, dustin, hilly, jessica, karl, kimberly, lewis, michelle, neil, robert, sass, shari, sherri, sibyl, sizzle, vahid, william

And for a visual tour of TequilaCon, check out the flickr group.

Punching Out

So I’m officially off-the-clock, people. The business portion of my business/pleasure trip to Portland is all over, which means that I am now all about pleasure. In fact, at this very moment, I am eating the $3.00 mini can of Pringles and the $4.00 giant Snickers from my hotel mini bar. And I just threw the wrappers on the floor. ON THE FLOOR! I’ll pick them up in a minute, but for right now – they’re ON THE FLOOR!

As soon as I’m done with this entry, I’m going to jump on both the beds, play the LodgeNet branded Nintendo gaming system until I have a grand mal seizure, rub complimentary ginger orange lotion all over my body even though I am quite adequately moisturized, and see if I can fit this ottoman into my luggage.

No, this isn’t my first time in a hotel, but it is almost TEQUILACON EVE people, and I’m so freaking excited that I can barely contain myself! Soon enough, I will be hanging out with 40 bloggers, friends of bloggers, and significant others of bloggers who tolerate this ridiculous blogging hobby because it’s either that or crystal meth.

For the folks who aren’t able to make it on Saturday, you will be sorely missed, and at various points during the evening, I will take a swig of whatever I’m drinking, then pour some on the floor for my homies. And when I say “homies,” I’ll be thinking of you.

When we began planning this event, I always thought that my Excel spreadsheets would forever earn me the title of organizational dork, until Brandon posted the Google earth map of the bar we’ll be at, and then laid out the floor plan in notes so that everyone would know where to go. I cried tears of joy when he sent me this photo:
kennedy.jpg

Rumor has it there may be some live blogging from the event, so let me preemptively apologize for anything I might post between now and Monday. I’m not a bad person, but sometimes I make bad choices.

Safe travels to any of you making your way to Portland this weekend, and I look forward to sharing many tales (and photos) once I get back!

It’s Now or Never

TequilaCon07.jpg

[designed by dave2]

The time has come, my friends, to separate the true believers from the commitment-phobes.
I’m talking about TequilaCon ’07: Portland Edition. You’ve heard about it, thought about it, contemplated it, worried about it, decided against it, changed your mind about it, still undecided about it.

Enough with the wishy-washy, peeps! It’s less than two months away! Believe me – I know how hard it can be to make a decision like this, so I thought it would help if I gave you a Pros/Cons list, like I usually do for big decisions:

TequilaPros
1. Tequila
2. Hang out in Portland, home of Powell’s bookstore, and I’m sure a bunch of other cool stuff
3. Meet awesome bloggers and ex-bloggers
4. Time off from work
5. Enough blog fodder to give you at least 2-3 more entries
6. TequilaCon swag
7. Breakdance contests
8. Tattoos
9. Finally get to take pictures of something other than your cats

TequilaCons
1. Tequila hangover
2. Portland ice storms
3. Return to everyday life will be a total letdown
4. Ex-bloggers might try to convince you that blogging is out
5. Lindsay Lohan can’t make it

Clearly, you can see that the Pros far outweigh the Cons, so you really have no excuse. Once again, here are the specifics:

TequilaCon ’07
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Portland, Oregon
McMenamins Kennedy School
7:00pm – ?

Hopefully, you’ve already received these details from me in an email, but if you’re planning on going and haven’t received any of the update emails I’ve sent out, send an email to jenny@runjenrun.com and I’ll make sure I add you to the distribution list.

Hope to see you all there!

fangs

“Come to TequilaCon or I will steal your babies.”

TequilaCon ’07: This Time I Mean Business

I know I toyed with your emotions by throwing out a date a while back, only to have to retract it, but I’m totally serious this time. Would I have commissioned a famous artist to design this kick-ass poster if I weren’t serious?

TequilaCon07.jpg

Okay, so I didn’t really commission anyone, but a famous artist did design it – a million thanks to Dave2 for making me weep with joy at the beauty that is the first official TequilaCon poster!

To recap:

What: TequilaCon ’07, aka the baddest mamma jamma blogger meetup you suckas ever seen!
Where: Portland, Oregon
When: Saturday, March 10
Who: We welcome any blogger, blog-reader, friend of blogger, or friend of tequila
How: If you haven’t already, let me know you’re interested by commenting or sending an email to jenny@runjenrun.com and I’ll add you to the distribution list

Also, now that the date has been selected and the word is making its way across the blogosphere, I have begun compiling the Official TequilaCon Attendee Excel Spreadsheet. I promised that once we were up to 25 attendees, I would start rolling out the pie charts, so now that we’ve got close to 30 people expressing sincere interest, behold:

Exhibit A:
TequilaCon.jpg

As Exhibit A clearly demonstrates, early analysis indicates a disproportionate percentage of female attendees at TequilaCon ‘07. I suspect this may be due to the “Lady Bloggers Drink Free at TequilaCon” promotional campaign that Brandon launched on his site earlier this week. Therefore, to even out the balance, I am offering “Free All-You-Can-Eat BBQ Chicken Wings at TequilaCon*” to the next ten male bloggers to sign up for TequilaCon.

Like my grandmother always used to say, come for the chicken wings, stay for the bloggers!
*Sweepstakes not valid in KS, MI, FL, CA, KY, WI, GA, NY, IL, WA and OR.

[Don’t] Save the Date [Yet]: The Con of Tequila, 2007 A.D.

“Hey, hon. So… what do you think about going to Portland the weekend after Valentine’s Day?”
“Portland? Oregon or Maine?”

“Oregon.”

“In February? Seems like it would be kind of cold. What’s the occasion?”

“Um, well, there’s gonna be this thing, with a bunch of bloggers, and drinking tequila, and talking about the Internet.”

“But, I don’t have a blog.”

“That’s okay – you don’t have to. It’ll be really fun to meet-”

“And I don’t want to talk to a bunch of computer nerds I don’t even know.”

“Well you don’t have to talk to them. I’m sure there will be other people who don’t blog.”

“I don’t want to talk to a bunch of non-computer nerds either. What kind of Valentine’s Day gift is that supposed to be?!”

“God! Can’t you ever just let me enjoy something? How about I get you nothing for Valentine’s Day? How about that?”

“Fine by me! And how about you take your shit out of my apartment for your Valentine’s Day gift?!”

“You don’t understand me! You’ve never been supportive of anything I do! Nobody understands me like my blogger friends!”

“They’re not your friends! They’re just freaks on the Internet!”

“Shut up! I hate you!”

“I hate you too!”

[slam]

[slam]

This is a conversation I hope will begin taking place all across the country, nay the world, as plans begin to formulate for what looks to be the greatest blogger get-together of all-time. It will be hard to top TequilaCon’06: New York City, but I think we can do it, with your participation.

So put it in your Franklin Day Planner – in ink – and start saving your dimes. Because this time, there will be no excuses.

IMG_4259.jpg

TequilaCon ’07: Electric Boogaloo
February 17, 2007 TBD
Portland, Oregon

***

UPDATE:
Almost forgot to mention, I’m already compiling the first of several spreadsheets detailing the demographic, socio-economic, and psychographic breakdown of all attendees, so be sure to let me know if you think you might attend.

TequilaCon ’07 – now with 50% more pie charts!

***

UPDATE #2:
Okay – so due to the eagle eyes of Dave2, we just discovered that the Portland Int’l Film Festival is being held for the two weeks that cross over our original dates. Hotels are already starting to sell out, so we’re probably going to have to pick a new date – most likely in March/April. I’m open to suggestions, so feel free to send them my way. Details to follow.

Bobcat Toe Bones, or How I Learned to Love the Worm

Dream Sequence #1

April 23rd 10:00am EST

[rubs eyes]

Oh man. What a crazy dream that was. Everyone was there!

There was Amanda, Ashbloem and Lillet, Barbara, Brandon, Colin, Cupcake and her friends, Curly, Dustin, Elle and her husband, Heather, Jenna and her friend Lulu, Jessica and her friend Leslie, Jill, Kat and her friend David, Michelle and Toby, Sandra, Sarah, even my good pal Vivian was there!

Oh, wow. And in my dream we were getting tattoos. How weird is that?

[looks down at arm]

IMG_3568.jpg

What the-?

What is that?

[looks closer]

IMG_3566.jpg

Oh my god!

Is it possible? It is! It happened – it all really happened!

Dream Sequence #2

April 23rd 10:00am EST – my actual dreams as recorded on the back of an envelope by Vivian’s futon.

1. I am drinking beer while sitting on the grass with two neighbors. Don Knotts sits next to me and asks if I have a bottle opener. We chat for a while. He is nice.

2. A blonde woman I’ve never met before gets into my cab. As soon as we get close to my neighborhood, she jumps out of the cab, takes her shirt off, and runs down the street.

3. I adopt two enormous primates – like baboons with gigantic fangs – one of which has no legs. I instantly regret my decision, but feel it’s too late to change my mind.

So what am I trying to say with all this? If these were my actual dreams post-TequilaCon, do you have any idea how fun that evening must have been? Let me begin:

Chapter One: The Preparation
I arrived in New York on Thursday night with a full schedule planned for Friday. My friend Vivian and I met up in the West Village with Jessica and her friend Leslie. From there, it was lunch, and a casual stroll through the area. Jess had never been to New York, so Viv was playing tour guide. We walked through the Village, Chinatown, Little Italy, SoHo. While in SoHo, we passed a store with skulls and dead animals and hides in the window, so of course we had to stop.

We went in and found bin after bin of bizarre items like dried puffer fish with pasted on googly eyes, artificial sharks teeth, and of course, bobcat toe bones for $3 each.
IMG_3351.jpg

[Sidebar: I am seriously considering either changing the name of my blog to Bobcat Toe Bones, or starting a band by the same name.]

Just as we were leaving, we spotted a rack of suckers (I was later viciously ridiculed by the East Coasters for calling them suckers. “They’re lollipops!” they all screamed! To that I say, who are you people, Alfalfa and the Little Rascals Gang? “Well, gee Miss Crabtree, I brought you this lollipop ‘cause you’re my favorite teacher!” No wait – maybe you’re Willy Wonka? “I want a snozzberry lollipop and I want it right now!” I say it’s a sucker.)

IMG_3423.jpg

Never one to pass up candy, I grabbed a couple, soon realizing that they were special “lollipops” – ones with bugs inside! There were crickets, and scorpions, and of course… tequila flavored suckers with an actual worm inside. YES! Icebreaker #1 complete! Jess and I bought a handful of them and headed out.

Earlier in the week, I had sent an email to Vivian that said simply: I need to find a store that sells temporary tattoos. I’m not exactly sure how or why, but Vivian knew exactly where to go – the stripper store. Just past the rack of CD’s like “Music to Strip By,” and “Sweet Sounds of Lap Dance,” she found a huge rack of temporary tattoos. I grabbed an assortment of fun and badass tatts and off we went. Icebreaker #2 complete! Now I would have a reason to manhandle every single blogger in the room – yes!
Chapter Two: The Worm Has Turned

Viv and I headed to Stout around 7:00pm and immediately ran into Brandon, Kat, her friend David, and Jill. They had scoped the place out and were on blogger lookout. After discovering that there was an amazing almost private room in the basement, we relocated to the lower level and staked our claim.

Bloggers began filing in and the party started going full force. I could tell this group needed no icebreakers, as the stories and drinks were flowing freely. At one point, I saw a man in a suit and tie sit down and I thought, “I don’t recognize him. Did I hire a consultant? I totally don’t remember doing that.” But then I heard someone say, “Hey – it’s Dustin!” and all was well. Brandon was a bit upset about the delicate 10:1 female to male ratio being disturbed, but seemed to recover quickly.

IMG_3403.jpg

[Dustin, me, Brandon]

As I tried desperately to meet all the people who were there, I realized that it was probably time to bring out the props. I whipped out the bag of tequila-pops and set one down on each table. Assuming they would sit there merely as a conversation piece, I started to walk away from one of the tables when I heard the alarming crinkle of plastic. It was Michelle’s husband, Toby. My god – he’s really going to try it, isn’t he?

IMG_3406.jpg

[Michelle and Toby]

Once I overcame my initial shock, and calmed down my stomach after Michelle’s description that, “It smells just like smoked Gouda cheese,” I felt a challenge coming on.
How many licks would it take to get to the wormi-roll center of a wormi-pop? We would soon find out.

Having never met Michelle or Toby before, I thought it might impress them if I pretended to bite into the sucker. Unfortunately, the tequila-pop I had selected had a worm very close to the surface, so pieces of dried worm flaked off into my mouth. I freaked out.

IMG_3417.jpg

Since the flavor of the candy was unbearable, we decided to just see who could dissolve theirs first in a cup of water. Again, I was defeated as Toby proudly displayed the full wormage of his tequilapop. I tossed my sucker aside and ordered another beer.

IMG_3452.jpg

Chapter Three: Tattoo You

Once the novelty of the worm pops had worn off, I looked over at Vivian and said, “Is it time for tattoos yet?”

She checked her watch and gave me the thumbs up. I pulled out another bag with the stripper tattoos and set up shop. It was a high class operation, involving alcohol wipes,
IMG_3437.jpg

[Barbara]

… precise timing,

IMG_3479.jpg

[Kat, David]

… and a very steady hand.

IMG_3431.jpg

Soon enough, this mild mannered group of bloggers turned into inked up bad asses.

IMG_3477.jpg

[Ashbloem]

The whole attitude of the evening changed at that point – people started doing shots,
IMG_3504.jpg

[Brandon, Kat, Colin, me, Ashbloem]

… eating like savages,

IMG_3525.jpg

… and pawing at each other like wild animals.

IMG_3384.jpg

[Jessica, Colin]

It was an out of control orgy with no regard for consequences… exactly what I had always dreamed it would be.

For me, the signal to the end of the evening was the bartender’s cry of last call, followed by the crashing of glass on the floor. Vivian and I cleared out our tab, said goodbye to the few die-hards who were heading next door to another bar, and hopped in a cab. During the ride home, my hand traced the tattoo on my arm, a temporary reminder of an unforgettable evening.

And all kidding aside, it was a spectacular night, I met some outstanding and talented people, and I can’t wait to do this all over again! And a special thanks to my friend Maggie for recommending Stout – it was a perfect location, and that basement bar is the best kept secret in New York… oh wait. Not so much anymore…

If you haven’t had enough, there are more photos here, and for a fair and balanced account of the evening, check out the sites of some of the other attendees above. I’m sure there will be many more stories to come!

TequilaCon ’06…

…has come to an end.

oh.
my.
god.

I Get Allergic Smelling Hay

Okay, just finishing up my packing for TequilaCon. Do I have everything?

Let me just make sure:

– Black sequined tube top
– Camouflage Daisy Dukes
– Platform wedges
– Heart shaped purple sunglasses
– Binaca
– Ibuprofen

I think I should be set!

Well, I can’t even express how excited I am to be heading off to New York for the weekend. Old friends, new friends, lots of blog talk, and perhaps one or two arrests.

For those of you who aren’t able to make it, you will be sorely missed. But if TequilaCon ’05 is any indication, Brandon and I will talk about all of you at least once during the evening, but only with complete love and affection.

So start saving now for TequilaCon ’07, because next year, there will be no excuses. You know who you are.

All right, now there’s just enough time to clean the litter box, drop bills in the mail, and gather up my whore eyes kit. Stay tuned for photos and stories!

Here’s where we’ll be – hope to see you all there!
Stout NYC
7:00pm – ?
133 W. 33rd St., New York, NY
Between Sixth and Seventh Aves.
212-629-6191

TequilaCountdown

Am I going crazy, or is there a subtle, salty scent of lime in the air? Oh that’s right, people. I’m talking about TequilaCon 2006!

[Just throw your hands in the air]

After a grueling selection process, all votes have been tallied, and the winning location for TC’06 is…

[Now wave ‘em like you just don’t care]

New York City
April 22, 2006
7:00pm – whenever I start to embarrass myself (the rest of you can all stay later)
Stout NYC
133 W. 33rd St., New York, NY
Between Sixth and Seventh Aves.
212-629-6191

According to the official list, we should have around 25-30 bloggers attending, not to mention all the, “Don’t try to pin me down with your rules and lists, Jenny! I’m a frickin’ blogger – you can’t make an anarchist like me RSVP!” people who will hopefully stop by at some point during the evening.

So – if you want to be on the list to receive the welcome packet with special museum discounts, handy tote bag and 10% off subway fares*, email me your info and I’ll make you an official attendee. Otherwise, if you’re in the NYC area on April 22, don’t be a stranger – stop by and say hi! I’ll be the one scribbling in a notebook, sitting behind a row of empty shot glasses. Or you can just look for Jill or Jessica or Brandon – they will be in the bathroom holding my hair at some point**.

*Not true.

**True.